The Sound of Words
by Aslan's Lamb
Summary: What did Brigitta think about the new governess? Why did she really start crying at the dinner table? Who else knew about Liesl's meeting with Rolf? This is the story of The Sound of Music told from Brigitta's POV.
1. Chapter 1

I am sitting by my window and reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. It's a gift from uncle Max. Father disapproves of the book, I know, because it's a fairy tale. But it's the most exciting thing I've ever read. The wicked witch has just imprisoned Dorothy and her friends and I am tempted to peek at the next page to find out what will happen next. But I'm not a cheater, so I keep reading.

Oh, Dorothy, be careful and whatever you do, do not let the Witch get those slippers! (I hear father's whistle somewhere far off) Oh, no! The Witch _has_ stolen Dorothy's slippers! (I still hear father's whistle) I keep reading. When Dorothy splashes the witch I gasp in admiration. Would I have been so brave? And then…then… the Witch melts! Dorothy is safe now.

Suddenly I am aware of total silence. I look up. I am standing in the central hall and father is glaring at me. My brothers and sisters are standing in line. I am not. Father extends his hand. I know what will happen next. I hand over the book and he lightly slaps my backside with it. My face is burning as I take my place in line, behind Kurt and in front of Marta. I know that father meant to shame me not hurt me. Still, I think I'd rather be hurt.

As Father gives us our signals and we step forward, I turn to look at the new governess. She looks very young, very poor and very frightened. She looks like those people who beg in the park in the evenings! Father offers her the whistle and I smile a little because I know she's going to forget our signals and become flustered. They always do.

"Oh, I won't need to whistle for them, Captain! I'll use their names. And such lovely names!" The new governess says, finally smiling. She may look like one of the poor people but she doesn't sound like them. She has a nice voice.

Father quickly puts her back in her place. "Fraulein, this is a large house and I will not have anyone shouting." I see the governess pull back a little and her eyebrows go up. "You will take this and learn to use it. The children will help you."

Louisa smiles at me as if to say, _Oh, we'll help her all right._

"Now when I want you, this is what you will hear," Father says and begins his regular "governess" whistle but she cuts him off.

"Oh, no, sir! I'm sorry, sir! I could never answer to a whistle. Whistles are for dogs and cats but not for children and definitely not for me!"

I gasp before I can stop myself. How can she talk to father that way? I didn't know anyone could talk to father that way. I glance at Friedrich. His mouth is a perfect O. I glance at Liesl. _Her_ mouth is closed but her eyes are wide and interested.

Father glares at the new governess. "Fraulein were you this much trouble at the abbey?" he asks, each word sharp as a slap.

"Oh, much more, sir!"

I bite my lip to keep from laughing. I can hear Kurt giggle. He's considered big now that he's eleven but he still sounds like a girl when he laughs.

Father seems to decide that the conversation is over. As he walks away, Fraulein Maria whistles. It's not a particular signal of any sort but it commands attention. Father stops and looks at her in puzzlement.

"Excuse me, sir, I don't know your signal," she says politely.

Something in father's eyes hardens. "You may call me 'Captain'," he says, before leaving the room. Fraulein Maria's smile turns victorious. She places the whistle in her pocket.

"Now will you please step forward again and tell me your names and how old you are," Fraulein Maria says.

Liesl steps forward. "My name is Liesl. I'm sixteen years old and I don't need a governess!" she says. Liesl greets every governess like this. People look at her brown curls and blue eyes and assume that she's sweet and gentle. She likes to prove them wrong.

Fraulein Maria looks taken aback. Will she tell Liesl not to be impudent? Will she laugh at her, which is ever worse? Instead she says, "Well, I'm glad you told me, we'll just be good friends." Liesl looks uncertain before this unexpected olive branch. (An olive branch is an offer of peace. I read about it yesterday.)

After Friedrich's introduction, Louisa steps forward. "I'm Brigitta," she says. This is a game we play each time we get a new governess. We constantly switch names, making it impossible for the governess to memorize who's who. We switch whistle signals too. I am prepared to admit that I am Louisa and to answer to her whistle. It can be great fun sometimes.

"You didn't tell me how old you were…Louisa," Fraulein Maria says. She doesn't hesitate. Has she remembered our names already? It takes governesses weeks to accomplish that.

Louisa smothers a gasp. She has never been caught lying before. Fraulein Maria fixes her gaze on Louisa and patiently waits for…what? An explanation? An apology? Louisa opens her mouth, then closes it, then looks at me with a silent appeal for help in her eyes. I have to say _something_. I step forward.

"I'm Brigitta, she's Louisa. She's thirteen years old, and you're smart," I say and then stop, surprised at myself. Of course, she's smart but why did I tell her so? I've stopped saying nice things to adults long ago because each time I would, they'd make me into a favorite and a pet and I hated that. Fraulein Maria is already giving me that what-an-adorable-child look. I'd better show her what I'm really like. "I'm ten and I think your dress is the ugliest one I ever saw," I add and the look slides right off her face. Good.

"Brigitta, you shouldn't say that!" says Kurt. I feel my face heat up. Why is _he_ defending her?

"Why not? Don't you think it's ugly?" I ask.

"Of course, but Fraulein Hilda's was ugliest," Kurt says. He always mentions Fraulein Hilda whenever he wants to stress that things can always be worse. I think it's stupid. What's the point of saying that things can always be worse? If they're bad enough, the fact that they can be worse doesn't make you feel much better.

Fraulein Maria has just finished speaking to Marta and turns to Gretel."Yes, you're Gretel. And you're five years old? My, you're practically a lady," Fraulein Maria says and Gretel blushes in delight. The little girls love Fraulein Maria right away. On the other hand, I know Louisa doesn't like her. Louisa doesn't like anyone who makes her look silly. I'm undecided about her. I'm curious to see what she's going to do or say next.

Fraulein Maria takes a deep breath and moves back a step. "I've a confession to make. You see, I've never really been a governess before," she says. I see Louisa's face light up and I know, I just know, she has something planned.

"You mean you don't know anything about being a governess?" she asks.

Fraulein Maria shakes her head. Louisa and Liesl exchange quick looks.

"Well, you must start by telling father to mind his own business," Louisa says with a wicked smile.

"You must never come to dinner on time," Friedrich catches on.

"Never eat you soup quietly," says Kurt, taking a step forward.

Friedrich slurps loudly into Fraulein Maria's ear and she gasps and turns around. At this moment, Louisa backs up, nearly bumping into me. She opens up her hands which are neatly folded behind her back. In one hand is a frog. She points to the frog with the other hand. I know what she is trying to tell me. I must place the frog into Fraulein Maria's pocket.

Frogs are easy to slip into a pocket. Snakes are trickier but I can do those too if I am not in a hurry. I certainly _can_ do it. But for some reason I don't feel as excited as usual. I've done it so many times, it has become boring. And Fraulein Maria isn't stuffy and horrible so it won't be as much fun playing a trick on her. Louisa's hand gestures become frantic. I pick up the frog and carefully edge closer to Fraulein Maria's side pocket.

The boys are still giving Fraulein Maria advice.

"Don't you listen to them, Fraulein Maria!" Gretel is saying, fiercely.

"Why not?" Fraulein Maria asks.

"Because I like you!"

Fraulein Maria smiles. She has a kind smile but I wish it was an angry scowl. It's somehow easier to play a trick on a person with an angry scowl. I drop the frog into her pocket. She doesn't notice.

"All right children, it's time to go outside for your walk!" Frau Shmidt's voice is sudden and I have to restrain myself from jumping. I turn around and walk to the door, keeping my eyes on Louisa's blond curls. Fraulein Maria picks up her bags and begins to walk up the stairs to her room. Her pocket starts rocking back and forth along with her gray dress and I just know the frog will jump out any moment.

"Poor little dears," Fraulein Maria mutters to Frau Shmidt.

She can't be talking about us. We're very rich, richer than she is. And we're certainly not "dears."

I see the frog wiggle right before Fraulein Maria yelps, then, yelps louder, drops her bags with a terrible crash and reaches into her pocket.

"Aaaaah!" She screams as the frog leaps from her hand to the floor.

The frog slowly makes its' way out the door that Friedrich just opened. Fraulein Maria breathes heavily as she stares at the frog.

"You're very lucky," Frau Shmidt says dryly. "With Fraulein Helga it was a snake."

Fraulein Maria gasps and her gaze travels up…to us. And she's looking straight at me.

She knows it was me. She knows that I put the frog in her pocket. I don't know how but she knows. She doesn't look angry exactly, but there is so much shock and hurt in her eyes. She looks like she's about to cry. And something twists inside my stomach. She hates me now.


	2. Chapter 2

**In chapter one, I spelled the youngest girl's name as "Gretel." I have changed the spelling of her name to "Gretl" in this chapter, because ForeverJulie was kind enough to point it out to me. **

* * *

When we step outside, we give each other relieved glances. We are alone together without any adults now, and we can do nearly anything we want since Frau Shmidt only looks into the window once or twice to make sure we are still there. This ought to be the best part of the day. Only it isn't for me.

"Well, I think…" Kurt begins but Friedrich glares at him and motions at the younger girls. We can't speak of our prank yet. Not while they are near.

"Marta, why don't you get the ball?" Liesl suggests with forced cheerfulness.

"_I_ want to get the ball!" Gretl says. "Why can't I ever do it?"

"You can if you want," Marta says. "But I'm not going to play. I want to pick flowers. Pink flowers."

"You know that you won't be able to take them to your room," Louisa says.

"Maybe I will," Marta says.

Marta always hopes for the impossible. She's still young enough to think that if she begs hard enough, father will make an exception.

As soon as Gretl runs off to get the ball and Marta steps a few steps away to pick flowers, we relax. We can talk freely _now_.

"Well done, Brigitta!" Friedrich says to me as if I have just written a composition with no mistakes. Friedrich is my favorite brother and I am usually pleased to hear praise from him. Not today.

"Oh, oh, oh!" Kurt shrieks, imitating Fraulein Maria's yelps perfectly. The others snicker but shush him. "Not so loud," Friedrich says.

Kurt lowers his voice slightly. "It was possibly the fifth funniest moment of my life!" He pauses. "All the same, I liked her."

"You always like the pretty governesses, "Louisa says, scornfully.

"I do not!" Kurt says indignantly.

Gretl is back with the ball. "Marta doesn't want to play with me," she complains. "Can you play with me, Brigitta?"

"Why me?" I say. I am not feeling kind.

"Because….because I want you to!"

"No. And don't pester me."

"Kurt?"

Kurt shakes his head.

Louisa frowns. She realizes that we'll get no peace until someone agrees to play with Gretl.

"Kurt doesn't want to," she says slowly. "He'd rather talk about Fraulein Maria all day." She grins at Kurt, trying to goad him into leaving our group to play with Gretl.

Kurt reddens. "I'd rather eat worms!" he says. Then he glances at the window to make sure Frau Shmidt isn't looking and scales up the nearest tree.

Gretl is nearly in tears. "Friedrich, please?"

"Oh, all right," Friedrich says. He picks up the ball, tosses it into the air and catches it as he walks away from us.

Gretl runs after him. "You're supposed to throw it to _me_ not to _yourself_," I hear her tell him.

We stand in silence.

"Do you think she'll tell father?" Louisa asks.

"Will it matter if she does?" Liesl says. "He can't stop us from doing it. He can only send her away."

"I hope he doesn't send her away. I like her," Marta says. She has appeared suddenly behind us and she is holding a small bouquet. Do you like my flowers?" she asks.

"They're very nice," Liesl says.

Sometimes I wonder how Friedrich and Liesl manage to be nice to the little ones, even when they interrupt important conversations.

"Do you think he will send her away?" Marta asks.

"Of course, not silly," Louisa says. "But maybe she will leave on her own like the others did. Because of the frogs."

"I wish frogs didn't eat flies!" Marta says.

This is the lie that we've told the little girls in order to explain why all the new governesses discover snakes, frogs and spiders in their bags and pockets. We've told them that traveling governesses are always sweaty and dusty from their journey, so they attract flies, which in turn attract spiders, frogs and snakes.

"If frogs didn't eat flies," I say crossly. "Then there would be flies everywhere, in your room, on the veranda, in the dining room. There would fifty flies sitting on your nose right now!"

Marta looks frightened. "No, there wouldn't," she says.

"Yes, there would."

"Well, then I wish there were no flies!" Marta says.

"It's no use wishing for something like that," Louisa tells her.

I hate lying to Marta. I was six when we started playing pranks on the governesses. Marta is nearly seven. Why must I play pranks and feel awful about it while she remains ignorant and innocent? It isn't fair.

"Can we stop talking about it?" I ask.

The others look surprised.

"It's done," I say. "Let's talk about something else."

"What's done?" Marta asks.

"Nothing," Liesl says, shooting me a warning glance.

"You wouldn't understand," I say.

If I said this to Gretl, she would get very angry at me and would keep on asking questions, just to be contrary. But Marta isn't like Gretl. She gives up easily. She stops talking and gives me a hurt look.

"Children, it's time to come in!" Frau Shmidt calls. She has probably heard us arguing and decided it was time to deliver us to someone else before she is blamed for our bad behavior.

Friedrich and Gretl join us. Kurt comes down from the tree and folds his hands behind his back. He catches Liesl's eye. Liesl nods, turns around and walks to the door of the house. We follow her in line. We purposely stay as close as possible so that we might hide whatever it is that Kurt is holding. He probably has some new prank planned. Today I am glad to stay out of it.


	3. Chapter 3

After changing into my dress, I join the others by the staircase so that we can walk to dinner. I see Friedrich, Louisa and Marta are standing in line already. Suddenly, I see Kurt coming up the stairs, slightly breathless. He tosses me The Wizard of Oz.

My book? He must have sneaked into father's room to get it.

"Oh, Kurt!" I gasp.

"Yes, Brigitta?" he says, imitating father's condescending manner of speech.

I hurriedly place the book on my bed before rejoining the others. Liesl and Gretl are in line now as well, Liesl smoothing Gretl's hair. She probably didn't brush her hair but Liesl didn't make her because father hates for us to be late.

Father acknowledges our presence with a slight nod of his head. We take our seats and so does father. We wait. The clock ticks.

Fraulein Maria is late.

Finally, she dashes into the room, patting her skirt. It doesn't look like she has brushed her hair either. She rushes to her seat and sits down.

"Ow!" She jumps out of her seat. Everyone snickers except for father.

Father gives her a quizzical look. "Enchanting little ritual. Something you learned at the abbey?"

Kurt suddenly sits up straighter and I know that he is worried because he has placed something on Fraulein Maria's chair and she might tell. It's not that he is worried about being punished. Father never punishes us; he leaves that job to the governesses. He doesn't have to punish us. It's the look in his eyes, the tone of his voice that we are afraid of.

"No, it's um…um…rheumatism," Fraulein Maria says, sitting down, gingerly.

"What's rheumatism?" Marta whispers to me. She has forgotten that she was supposed to be angry at me. Or she has decided to make peace.

"It's a sickness that old people get," I whisper back.

"But Fraulein Maria's not old."

"I don't know," I whisper back, annoyed.

"Excuse me Captain, haven't we forgotten to thank the Lord?" Fraulein Maria asks.

Father stops with his fork halfway to his mouth.

He remembers. I know he remembers because his eyes suddenly get that pained frozen look in them. It only lasts for an instant. Then suddenly, he is father again, and he folds his hands indifferently, as if he is doing Fraulein Maria a favor. But I saw that look in his eyes and I know that just for a moment he remembered the same thing that I remembered. Praying at the dinner table with mother.

I was barely six years old when mother died, so I don't remember her face very well. But I remember that she sang to me. And she told me stories. And I remember that we would all pray together before eating.

Of course, we've prayed occasionally since then. Some governesses insisted on it. But never with father. And as Fraulein Maria prays in her soft voice, I close my eyes and try not to think of that other voice that used to lead our _entire_ family in prayer. Mother's voice. When I open my eyes, there is a lump in my throat and it does not go away, even after I sip from my water glass.

"I'd like to thank all of you for the gift that you've left in my pocket earlier today," Fraulein Maria says.

_Gift?_ For a moment, I am confused. Then I realize that she is being sarcastic.

Marta doesn't understand. "What gift?" she whispers to me.

"Uh…what gift?" father asks.

We hold our breath.

"Oh, it was meant to be a secret between the children and me," Fraulein Maria says. Her eyes are sparkling. She seems to be enjoying this game very much.

"Then I suggest that you keep it and let us eat," father snaps.

Marta tugs on my sleeve again. "But there was nothing in her pocket," she whispers. "Only the frog…" she trails off. I look straight at her. She stares back at me and suddenly her eyes widen and she gasps. She has understood.

Father glances at us. "Marta, Brigitta, is there something wrong with the food?"

Marta shakes her head.

I take a piece of potato but the lump is still there and it's hard to swallow.

Fraulein Maria keeps talking. She speaks slowly, pausing between each phrase so that it might have an impact. "Knowing how nervous I was to be in a strange household. Knowing how important it was for me to feel accepted."

With a pang, I remember my first day of school. Although nobody teased me, nobody tried to make friends with me either and I spent the first day of recess, alone, crying behind my book. Is this how Fraulein Maria feels?

_It's not the same! _I think desperately. _She is a grownup!_

"It was so kind and gentle and pleasant," Fraulein Maria finishes.

Marta begins to cry. She tries to hide it but everyone at the table can hear.

"Now, what _is_ the matter, Marta?" father asks. He sounds irritated.

"Nothing," Marta sobs out.

I long to comfort her somehow but I don't know how. If Liesl was sitting near us, she would put her arm around Marta. But I am not Liesl, so I don't do anything but sit there helplessly.

It's my fault she's crying. If I hadn't looked at her in such a way that she understood the truth, if I hadn't hinted at it during our walk, she wouldn't have understood. She would have been confused maybe, but she wouldn't be sitting here crying her heart out because she has just realized that her brothers and sisters have been lying to her.

I am crying.

I can't be crying. I never cry in front of other people.

But I am crying.

"Marta, Brigitta, why are you crying?" Gretl whispers. "What's wrong?" She has missed Fraulein Maria's point entirely but she is frightened to see us both crying. We don't answer and Gretl begins to wail as well.

Through the sound of Marta and Gretl's sobs, I hear father ask Fraulein Maria something.

"Oh, they're all right, Captain, they're just happy," Fraulein Maria says. We cry even harder.


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing I do when I go to my room after dinner is open my book and read. My bed is soft and all I want is to forget about everything that has happened today and lose myself in Dorothy's world. But hardly ten minutes pass before there's a knock on my door.

"Come in," I say. For a moment, I feel a sort of ridiculous hope that it might be father. But father never spends any more time with us than he has to.

It is Louisa. She closes the door, sits down next to me and says, "Well?"

"Well, what?" I say.

"What do you think of the new governess?"

"You know what I think of her," I say. "She's smart. She's tricky. She wears ugly clothes."

"So you think she is ugly?"

"I didn't say she was ugly." _I think she is beautiful._

"Well, Kurt and I have decided that we won't play any more tricks on her, at least for today."

I am relieved but I try not to show it. I say nothing.

Louisa keeps talking. "First of all, like you said, she is smart. She is expecting more tricks, so we will outwit her and keep her guessing until morning. Second of all, it's going to be too difficult tonight. There's going to be a thunderstorm. I heard Frau Schmidt say that she feels it in her bones."

Frau Schmidt's predictions are never wrong. My skin prickles. I hate thunderstorms. Mother died during a thunderstorm.

I remember father and the doctor were upstairs in mother's room and we were all in Liesl's. Gretl was asleep but the rest of us were awake and frightened. Liesl was trying to tell us a story but she was too flustered and worried to tell it properly and the sound of the heavy rain and the crash of thunder made it impossible to hear anything. Then the door opened and there stood the doctor. "I am afraid, children, there was nothing I could do," he said. I didn't understand him at first. The Liesl cried, "Mother! No!" and burst into tears. Then, I understood. We all did. Even Gretl woke up and began to cry too, although she was just a baby and couldn't possibly understand.

Louisa notices the look on my face and she says, "You mustn't be scared of thunderstorms. It's silly! You must set an example for the little girls. Like I do."

"But Louisa, you're scared of thunderstorms too," I say.

Louisa pretends not to hear me. "I've got to go speak to Kurt," she says. "Perhaps, we will sneak out early in the morning tomorrow and collect some worms. You know they all come out after the rain."

She leaves my room. I put on my nightgown. Then I curl up on my bed and hug myself. All I want is Liesl. But I can't go to Liesl because she is out walking with her sweetheart right now. I know this, because I saw the telegram being delivered during dinner and that is their secret way of communicating. Nobody else knows. Louisa scorns romance and the other girls are too little, so Liesl confides in me.

I always worry whenever Liesl goes out to meet him. Father might catch her and I know that his rage would be worse than any we've seen before. Seeing a boy without his permission is not like playing pranks or being late to dinner or climbing trees. It is about the worst thing one can do. But even more than I worry about Liesl being caught, I worry that Liesl's sweetheart might kidnap her, just take her away with him and never return. Once I said this to Liesl and she laughed. "Sometimes, I wish he would!" she confessed. Then seeing the look on my face she quickly added, "But I would never leave without saying goodbye to you." That made me feel just a little bit better. But not very much. Because now I live in constant dread that Liesl may one day say goodbye.

The rain starts falling softly outside my window. I pick up my book. I will read and pretend that nothing is wrong.

Fifteen minutes later, I have finished my book. The rain is falling harder now and the wind is howling. What if Liesl is hurt while she is out there? What if she gets struck by lightning? What if the wind turns into a tornado like in The Wizard of Oz? What if it is so strong that it picks up our entire house and carries us into the air? I am shaking. I wrap my blanket around me. "Liesl!" I whimper softly. "Liesl!"

Slam! My window flies open. Rain and wind blow into my face.

I have to close the window. I stand up and slowly approach the window. I am afraid I might be blown out if I get too close. Carefully, I extend my hands…Crash! The lightning flashes right into my face, the thunder seems to be all around me. And I scream and run out of my room and down the hall, leaving the window open.

Liesl…I think…Liesl…in my terror I still have the vague idea that if only I can find Liesl, everything will be all right. I don't bother to knock on her door, I just run in.

Her room is empty.

I have to tell Louisa. Maybe Liesl is trapped somewhere outside, maybe we can go and rescue her. I have to tell her.

Louisa is sitting on her bed, tense and pale, and Marta is hiding her face in her lap.

"I want it to stop!" Marta wails.

"Well, I can't stop it!" Louisa snaps. Being frightened always puts her into a bad mood but she is all I have now and I clutch her arm as tightly as I can.

"Ow!"

There is another crash of thunder and we scream and cover our ears.

"Liesl is gone!" I shout. "She's not in her room. She must be outside!"

"What?" Marta stares at me in horror.

Louisa glares at me. "Did you have to frighten her more?"

"But Liesl's out there! We must find her!"

"You've gone crazy!" Louisa hisses. "We're staying right here!" And she clutches my arm, extra hard, this time.

"Friedrich!" Marta sees Friedrich and Kurt by the door and runs to them. There is another crash of thunder and Marta hides her face in Friedrich's shirt. "Friedrich, make it stop!"

"Make it stop?" Friedrich looks lost.

"He hasn't learned how to, yet," Kurt says. "He's only in the 9th grade. They teach Magic in 10th!"

"What are you doing here?" Louisa demands. Of course, she is glad to see them but she won't admit it.

"I, uh, want my history book back. You've had it for two weeks," Friedrich says.

"Now?" Louisa looks at Friedrich as if he has lost his mind.

"Where's Gretl?" Kurt asks.

"In her room, sleeping," Louisa says. "I told her that if she was a good girl and went to sleep before the storm began, she would miss it completely and wake up to a sunshiny morning. Aren't I clever?"

"No," I say.

Kurts eyes widen. "Gretl is not in her room," he says. "We just passed her room. The door is open and her bed is empty."

"What?" Marta and I shriek simultaneously.

"You all stay here with Friedrich!" Louisa commands. "I will go look for her."

"No!" I shriek. "What if you disappear too?"

"I am not going to disappear!"

"What if Gretl is with the new governess?" Friedrich asks quietly.

We all stop and stare at him. That is a good suggestion.

"I'll check," Marta says, suddenly, surprising all of us, and runs down the hall.

"Marta, wait!" We run after her.

And suddenly, we are in Fraulein Marta's room. Well, not all of us. Kurt and Friedrich are still in the hall, probably hesitant to enter a lady's room.

Fraulein Maria is sitting up in bed with Gretl. She doesn't look at all surprised to see us and Gretl giggles, snuggling closer to her side.

"All right, everybody, up on the bed!"

Louisa and I cannot believe that she is serious. She is allowing us to sit on her bed? After what we've done? We hesitate.

Marta doesn't. "Really?" she gasps, running and springing onto the bed. We follow her, timidly.

"Now all we have to do is wait for the boys!"

"You won't see them! Boys are brave!" Marta says.

Louisa scoffs.

There is another terrible crash of thunder. I close my eyes and ears and when I open them, Friedrich and Kurt are standing there, looking sheepish.

"You boys weren't scared too, were you?" Fraulein Maria asks.

"Oh, no, we just wanted to make sure, you weren't," Friedrich says.

"That's very thoughtful of you, Friedrich," Fraulein Maria says.

Crash! I pull Fraulein Maria's blanket over my ears. But I can't drown out the sound of thunder.

"Why does it do that?" Marta asks, snuggling closer to Fraulein Maria.

"Well…the lightning says something and the thunder answers back."

"The lightning must be nasty," Marta says.

Fraulein Maria smiles. "Not really."

"Then why does the thunder get so angry? It makes me want to cry."

That's when Fraulein Maria tells us about the game she plays when she is frightened or upset. It is called "My Favorite Things." At first, I can't think of very many things. What do I like? Books and running and cupcakes with vanilla frosting, that's all I can think of. But Fraulein Maria had thousands of suggestions and she begins to sing her suggestions to a cheerful tune. Girls in white dresses, snowflakes that stay on your nose and lots of other silly things. Before long we are thinking of things too.

"No school!"

"Birthday presents! Any presents!"

"Pillow fights!"

I dodge a pillow thrown by Kurt, laughing for the first time this evening.

"Bunny rabbits!"

"Snakes!"

"Telegrams!" says an enthusiastic voice behind me.

I freeze and turn around. There is Liesl, smiling and settling herself on the bed. She is wearing a strange-looking nightgown and her hair is wet…but she is here. She is safe. Fraulein Maria keeps singing. And the sound of her words keeps the thunder and lightning far, far away where it cannot reach us.


	5. Chapter 5

As I watch Fraulein Maria fly about her bedroom in an effort to think of more favorite things, I realize that she is not just doing this for our benefit. She is actually enjoying the game as much as we are and she is every bit as excited. Suddenly, the door opens and father enters. We open our mouths to warn her but we are too late. Fraulein Maria makes a wild twirl and bumps right into father.

"Oh!" she gasps. She looks like a disoriented bird that has just bumped into a closed window, expecting it to be open.

"Fraulein, did I not tell you that bedtime was to be strictly observed in this house?"

"But the children were upset by the storm so I thought…" Fraulein Maria trails off. She has just realized what we already know, that reasoning with father is useless. "You did, sir," she says.

"And do you or do you not have difficulty remembering such simple instructions?"

Fraulein Maria, seeing that this window is closed, tries another one. She tries humor. "Only during thunderstorms, sir."

Louisa and I grin. Kurt laughs quietly.

Father's cold expression doesn't change but somewhere in his face, a muscle twitches. Is it possible that she has finally made him laugh? I want to ask Liesl whether she saw what I did but at the moment father snaps, "Liesl!"

Liesl looks up. "Yes, father?"

"I don't recall seeing you anywhere after dinner."

"Oh…really?" Now it is Liesl who looks like a trapped bird. "Well actually I was…"

"Yes?"

"Well, as a matter of fact…"

I am desperately trying to think of something I could say to rescue her. I_ could_ say that Liesl was with me…but then father might ask why and I'll have to invent more lies and eventually father will catch me as he always does. But I've got to think of _something_!

"What she would like to say, Captain, is that she and I were getting better acquainted tonight," Fraulein Maria says hurriedly.

Liesl gives Fraulein Maria a grateful look. Father gives her a suspicious one but Fraulein Maria has already turned away from him and is speaking to us.

"Come now children, you heard your father, go back to bed immediately." She speaks in a strict tone but she gives me a warm smile as I pass by.

"Isn't she wonderful?" Marta whispers to me, as we walk down the hall to our rooms.

"Yes," I agree, wholeheartedly. "Wonderful."

Gretl yawns, though her yawn is more like a satisfied sigh.

When I enter my room, my window is still open and wind is still blowing in. But now my fear is gone. I calmly close my window and go to sleep. I dream of raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

I wake up, feeling happy. For the first moment, I wonder why. Then I remember. Fraulein Maria! And father has gone to visit the Baroness!

I've never felt happy about father being gone before. I usually prefer him over the governesses. Although he is strict and cold, he is still my father and I know what to expect from him. Only today, I am glad that he has gone away because now Fraulein Maria can run things her way and I am sure that her way will be delightful. For a moment, I feel guilty over being glad that father is gone. But then I search myself and find that I miss him already and although I am glad that he is gone, I will also be glad to see him come back. So it is all right to enjoy this time without him, as long as I don't stop missing him.

I dress quickly and line up for breakfast. There is no one in line yet except for Liesl. She is leaning against the wall, a dreamy look on her face.

"Good morning!" I say.

"Yes," she says, still staring off into space.

"You're supposed to say 'good morning' back," I say.

Liesl finally looks at me. "Oh," she says. "Morning, Brigitta."

"What are you thinking about?" I ask. I always wonder what people are thinking about.

Liesl blushes. "Nothing," she says with a smile. I can tell she wants me to question her further. But I suddenly have the awful feeling that it has to do with her secret meeting with her sweetheart last night and I would rather not talk about that.

"Is Louisa helping Gretl?" I ask. Usually, either Liesl or Louisa go to Gretl's room in the mornings to help her dress and brush her hair. It is supposed to be the job of the governess but in the past two years, we have spent most of our time in between governesses, so Liesl and Louisa have started doing it.

"No. I went to Gretl's room this morning and Fraulein Maria was there already with Marta. She told me that she was giving the two of them special hairstyles and she gave me back my dress."

_Dress?_

Liesl reads the question in my eyes. "I climbed into her room last night, through the window."

"You climbed into her room while she was there?" I gasp.

"Well, I couldn't use front door! I was hoping that she would already be asleep or washing up. Only she wasn't. She was praying."

"Really? For what?"

Liesl shrugs. "I wasn't listening, I was just thinking about how to get past her. I decided to chance it. After all, her eyes seemed to be closed and she was on her knees. But she heard me anyway."

"Did she scream?"

"No. It was the strangest thing. She didn't turn around or even stop praying."

"So how do you know she heard you?"

"She suddenly started praying _for me _in a loud and clear voice."

I giggle. It just seems so funny, Liesl tiptoeing behind Fraulein Maria's back, and suddenly hearing Fraulein Maria praying for her.

"And then when I asked her if she was going to tell, she put her finger to her lips and finished praying. _Then_ she spoke to me. She gave me a spare nightgown and told me to put my dress to soak in the bathtub and to come sit on the bed and we'd have a talk. Only we didn't. Because you all came running in." Liesl grins.

I wonder if she is laughing at us. "Well, what were we supposed to do?" I ask, defensively. "Gretl was missing, so we went to check if she was in Fraulein Maria's room and she was. And then Fraulein Maria invited us to stay."

Liesl nods and gives me an understanding look. "Of course," she says. The look says that she knows that we really ran to Fraulein Maria because we were all terrified, only she's not going to say so. It is a sympathetic look though and it reminds me of Fraulein Maria somehow.

Friedrich comes out of his room with his hair neatly brushed. "Good morning," he says. "Where is everybody?"

"Fraulein Maria is doing Gretl's and Marta's hair," Liesl explains.

"Is Kurt there too?" Friedrich asks.

I snicker. "His hair is too short," I say.

Friedrich laughs. "I had better check on him." He walks over to the door to Kurt's room and knocks. Then he walks in without waiting for a response.

When he comes back, he is grinning. "Asleep," he says. "I tried everything I could to wake him. Finally, I told him that there were five minutes left to breakfast." He chuckles. "It worked."

"Where are the others?" This is Louisa. Her uniform is wrinkled and she yawning and rubbing her eyes.

Friedrich explains where they are.

"I thought you and Kurt were going to sneak out to collect worms today," I say. "For your next prank."

"There will be no more pranks," Liesl says, firmly.

Liesl doesn't really take as much part in the pranks as she used to. But she still has the final say. I see Louisa and Friedrich nod. They will not go against Liesl's words. Besides, I doubt they need much persuasion.

Finally, Fraulein Maria comes skipping out of Gretl's room with the two girls on each side of her. Their hair looks lovely. Gretl has two braids pulled together in the back and Marta has a high ponytail, with a small braid pulled over her head. Suddenly, I feel jealous. It's not because of the hair. It's because they got to spend time with Fraulein Maria. Alone.

Fraulein Maria is greeting Friedrich and Louisa, asking them various questions and smiling. I stand quietly and try to hide my impatience. But then Fraulein Maria puts her arm around me. "Good morning, Brigitta!" she says. "Have you finished your book yet?"

No governess has ever expressed an interest in the books I've read. Governesses ask about my schoolbooks sometimes, but not the books I read because I like them.

"Yes," I say. "Right before the thunderstorm. Have you ever read it? It is called The Wizard of Oz."

"No," Fraulein Maria shakes her head. "But I'd love to borrow it. The only book I've read this year was my Bible."

"The Bible? Only?" I gasp. I've tried reading the Bible before. It was very difficult.

"Hmmm," Fraulein Maria studies my face. "I see you don't like reading the Bible. We can't have that. I'll have to show you the exciting parts."

I am thinking that if only she likes it, I'll read anything, no matter how boring it is.

* * *

** I'm sorry that the ending is a bit abrupt but I couldn't seem to find an appropriate place to end the chapter. I'll try to update soon. **


	6. Chapter 6

**I've decided that I'm going to alternate scenes from the movie with original scenes. That way I can enhance the story a little but leave it true to the film.**

* * *

We sit down for breakfast and Franz pours us milk. I hate milk but father insists that we drink it in the mornings.

"Good morning, Franz," Fraulein Maria says.

"Good morning, Franz," we echo.

Franz looks wary but responds with a polite, "Good morning." I suddenly realize that we've never said good morning to him before. I wonder whether he ever feels invisible.

Gretel extends her hand towards her milk glass but I grab it and pull it back. "Wait," I hiss. "We haven't prayed yet."

Gretel's lower lip begins to tremble. "I know!" she whispers back. "I'm not a baby!"

"You wouldn't imagine the amount of times _I_ forgot to pray before eating," Fraulein Maria interjects, smiling at Gretl. "The Reverend Mother was patient with me until I learned. It's good when you have someone to remind you." She smiles at me and I am ashamed for being so rough with Gretl. I am not at all patient.

"Good morning! Is breakfast over?" Kurt rushes into the room, red-faced and puffing heavily.

We, all six of us, look at each other and burst into laughter.

Fraulein Maria says, "Good morning, Kurt. We have just been waiting for you."

"We have?" Louisa asks.

Fraulein Maria prays and we begin to eat.

"What are we going to do today?" Marta asks, in between bites.

"Your father mentioned to me that he wanted you to keep up your studies," Fraulein Maria says. "So after breakfast we are going to review your mathematics."

"Mathematics?" Kurt groans.

_Mathematics__? _I think. I had assumed that Fraulein Maria would plan something wonderful and strange and new but…mathematics!

"Oh, I think you'll find my type of mathematics rather unusual," Fraulein Maria says with wink. "Besides I'll need to measure you all for your new play clothes."

After breakfast, we all file into Fraulein Maria's room. There's a familiar looking orange-white material spread over her bed and there are also eight sheets of paper with the numbers 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 written on them. We stare.

"Now we are going to play a multiplication game and while we play it I will measure each one of you, so that I can make your clothes later on from this material."

"Your drapes!" I exclaim, suddenly realizing where I've seen it before.

"Yes," Fraulein Maria admits, looking like she wishes I had kept quiet about my discovery.

Liesl frowns. "Must I wear these _play-clothes_ too?" she whispers.

"Um...no," Fraulein Maria says. "But I would like you to. And if everyone else wears theirs, you'll look rather odd in your best dress."

Liesl opens her mouth and closes it.

"Now let me explain the game to you," Fraulein Maria says. "Everyone will receive a number. The older you are the higher the number. When I call out two names, these two people will have to multiply their numbers as quickly as possible. It's a good thing there are so many of you."

We look at each other and I can tell everyone is thinking the same thing as I am. Never, ever, has a governess told us that it was a _good thing_ there were so many of us!

"Why is there no 1?" Marta asks.

"Not enough people," Fraulein Maria says. "Now if your father was here, I would have a 1."

I try to picture father playing a multiplication game. I can't, even though I have a very large imagination.

"But I can't multiply!" Gretel says. "I haven't even started first grade yet!"

"Have you finished kindergarten?" Fraulein Maria asks Gretl, solemnly.

Gretl nods.

"Well, then, _you'll_ have to help _me_. You see, I haven't gone to kindergarten _or_ first grade. Will you?"

Gretl nods, smiling.

Fraulein Maria distributes the numbers. Gretl gets 2, Marta gets 3, I get 4, Kurt gets 5, Louisa gets 6, Friedrich gets 7 and and Liesl gets 8. Fraulein Maria leaves 9 to herself. Friedrich is beaming. He is excellent at mathematics. I am nervous though. I am not very good with numbers. I am better with words.

"All right," Fraulein Maria says. "Let's begin, shall we? Kurt and Marta!"

"Fifteen!" Kurt says.

"Louisa and Brigitta!"

I think for a split second but Louisa is already saying, "Twenty-four!"

_Twenty-four,_ I think. I try to create a connection between Louisa and twenty-four..._Twenty four hours in a day. __Louisa is my sister twenty-four hours a day…_

"Gretl and Marta!"

"Uh…six!" Marta says.

"Excellent work, officer!" Fraulein Maria says with a salute. Marta blushes with pleasure.

"Louisa and Friedrich!"

"Forty-two!" They say it at the same time and glare at each other.

"Liesl and me!"

"Seventy-two," Liesl says, quite calmly.

"Perfect! Gretl and Kurt!"

"Ten," Kurt says, in a bored tone.

"Friedrich and me!" Fraulein Maria shouts and adds "Sixty-three!"

Friedrich stares at her. "I was just letting you say it first because you are a lady," he says.

"Of course," Fraulein Maria says.

"Brigitta and Louisa!"

"Twenty-four!" I shout.

"That's not fair," Louisa says. "You already said that one."

"Did I? Oh, dear." Fraulein Maria brings her hand up to her head and scratches it with such a funny expression that we all begin to laugh. All except Gretl. Gretl looks miserable. She has not answered a single question.

Fraulein Maria notices. "Gretl, watch me during the next round," she says.

"Marta and Brigitta!"

"Twelve!" we both say.

"Louisa and Liesl!"

"Forty eight!"

"Gretl and Friedrich!"

I see Fraulein Maria holding up one finger on one hand and four fingers on the other.

"Fourteen!" Gretl shouts just the second before Friedrich does.

"Amazing!" Fraulein Maria crows.

Gretl beams. Then she frowns and asks, "Friedrich, you weren't just letting me go first because I was a lady?"

Friedrich turns very red in the face and turns around so that Fraulein Maria can finish measuring his waist.

After the multiplication game, we sit on the bed and as Fraulein Maria continues measuring the rest of us, she gives us what she calls 'a history lesson' about Napoleon Bonaparte. Only she tells his story in such an exciting way that we all forget that this is a lesson and sit mesmerized listening to her speak.

When it is time for lunch, we are surprised at how quickly the time has passed.

"After lunch," Fraulein Maria says. "We are going outside for our afternoon hike, 'breathing deeply.' I might also give you a natural history lesson." She winks. "A lesson about frogs, since you're all so fond of them."


	7. Chapter 7

Today is Monday and we are finally going on a picnic in our new play-clothes.

"I love the way the word _picnic _sounds, just like teeth biting into an apple!" I say to Louisa, as we brush our hair.

"What are you talking about?" Louisa asks with amusement. But I am not angry at her for not understanding because I am sure Fraulein Maria will understand.

"Fraulein Maria, doesn't _picnic _sound just like teeth biting into an apple?" I ask as we gather by the door.

Fraulein Maria stops and closes her eyes. "Pic-nic," she says, slowly.

We wait.

"Yes, it does!" Fraulein Maria confirms with a smile. "Or maybe strawberries with sugar."

"Are we going to have strawberries with sugar?" Gretl shrieks.

"Not today," Fraulein Maria says.

"But when?" Gretl whines. "When?"

"Sometime this summer," Fraulein Maria says evasively.

Gretl's eyes widen. It's a long way until the end of the summer. But I struggle not to laugh because I know that we are going to have strawberries with sugar tomorrow. Because tomorrow is Marta's birthday.

We've discussed it all secretly when the little girls were in bed. Today, on the way back home we are going to distract her while Liesl and Friedrich go into the umbrella store and buy Marta a pink parasol. Liesl could easily do it alone but it is more proper for a young lady to have an escort. Fraulein Maria says that she didn't even know that until Frau Schmidt explained it to her. Well, I suppose she can't know everything.

We skip down the grassy path, with the sunshine on our faces and the lake sparkling beside us. Fraulein Maria is carrying her guitar. Liesl is carrying the basket and Friedrich is carrying the ball. I am swinging my empty arms as I skip. I thought of bringing a book to the picnic but I decided not to. After all, if I read, I might miss something exciting.

When we get to the store though, I am prepared to be bored.

"Will it take a very long time to buy everything?" I ask Fraulein Maria.

"Don't you like shopping?" Fraulein Maria asks.

"I like _eating_ picnic food but I don't particularly like buying it," I confess.

"Me neither," Fraulein Maria admits. She picks up two tomatoes. For a moment she stares at them, perplexed, then, she throws both tomatoes into the air and catches them. We laugh and clap.

***************************************************

With the basket full now, Liesl goes a little more slowly so the rest of us run ahead up the green hill.

"Fraulein Maria, can we…can we roll down the hill?" Louisa asks. "Or will it spoil our clothes?"

"Fraulein Maria gives Louisa a stern look. "After how hard I've worked making your play-clothes…" she says.

Louisa's face falls.

"I'd be quite disappointed if they remained clean!" Fraulein Maria finishes.

Louisa bursts into laughter and she and I roll, roll, roll down the grassy hill.

We take out the bread and cheese and tomatoes and cut it all into little triangles to make sandwiches. After we eat the sandwiches (Kurt has six!), we have fruit and apple strudel. Then Fraulein Maria teaches us many new games with the ball and jump-rope. Finally, Louisa falls down on the grass and says, contentedly, "Can we do this every day?"

"Don't you think you'd soon get tired of it?" Fraulein Maria asks.

"I suppose so," Louisa says. "Every other day?" she adds hopefully.

"I haven't had this much fun since the day that we put glue on Fraulein Josephine's toothbrush," Kurt says.

Fraulein Maria winces.

Seeing her wince makes me wince. Does she think we are cruel?

"I can't understand how children as nice as you can play such awful tricks on people," Fraulein Maria says.

"Oh, it's easy," I say.

"But why do it?"

"Well, how else can we get father's attention?" Liesl asks.

I take a quick little breath. Is _that_ why?

"Yes," I say. And I have to stop myself from saying it again because it suddenly becomes clear to me. I always thought we played tricks on governesses because…well… it was the only fun we ever got to have and many of the governesses were awful and deserved it. But there were also some that didn't. And then I just figured that we did it just…because. Because we had always done for it as long as I could remember. Only Liesl's explanation makes more sense than any of that and I wonder why she has never explained it to me before.

"Oh, I see," Fraulein Maria says. "Well, we'll have to think about that one." She seems to be deep in thought for a moment but then she picks up her guitar and calls out, "All right everyone, let's think of some songs to sing for the baroness."

"Father doesn't like us to sing," Marta says.

"Well, perhaps he will change his mind."

_Father does not change his mind,_ I think.

"Now what songs do you know?"

"We don't know any songs," I say.

Fraulein Maria stares at us as if we have just told her that we don't like strudel. "Not any?"

"We don't even know how to sing," I say, although what I really mean is we don't _remember_ how. I think we used to sing once long ago. I am almost sure that Liesl did. I know that mother did.

Fraulein Maria begins to sing. "Do, a deer,a female deer..."

Her voice is clear and strong and golden. I wonder what my voice will sound like if I try to sing. My arms are suddenly covered with goosebumps. I am almost afraid to try. But I simply _must_.

I wait for the right moment to start singing. And when I do, sing some small forgotten part of me wakes up and the notes and their names come effortlessly. I don't feel as if I am learning them. It's more like remembering something I've always known but couldn't express.


	8. Chapter 8

"I hear her footsteps!"

"She's coming!"

"All rights everybody, quiet," Fraulein Maria orders.

We wait in the silence as the sound of Marta's footsteps comes closer and closer. She knocks on the door of Fraulein Maria's room. "Fraulein Maria? Are you there?"

"Come in, dear," Fraulein Maria says. How _can _she sound so calm?

Marta opens the door.

"Surprise!" we all shout and Gretl throws confetti from her place on Friedrich's shoulders.

"Oh!" Marta gasps as the bits of colored paper settle on her hair and shoulders and she can suddenly see the pile of presents on Fraulein Maria's bed. "Oh!" she says again, breathlessly.

"Happy Birthday!" Fraulein Maria says.

Marta doesn't speak. She only smiles helplessly and stares at all of us.

"You're supposed to say 'thank you'," Gretl admonishes her.

"Oh, thank you, thank you!" Marta unfreezes and runs to the pile of presents. Her hands clutch at the desired pink parasol, the sparkling hair ribbons, the golden-haired doll in a pale blue dress with eyes that open and close, the set of paints and paintbrushes and the Children's Bible with its' beautiful illustrations. Then her eyes land on the large card that we all drew on and signed. I wrote her a poem. Getting that poem in wasn't easy. Louisa complained that I was taking up all of the space on the card and insisted that I throw out two verses. But Fraulein Maria defended my right to keep the whole thing and she only asked me if I could write in smaller letters.

Marta looks up from her presents. "What are we going to do now?" she asks, her cheeks flushed with excitement.

"Whatever you want," Liesl says. "This is your day."

"Only remember that we are hungry," Kurt adds and Louisa glares at him.

Marta laughs. "Can we have breakfast first?" she asks and Kurt sighs in relief.

After breakfast (and the promised strawberries with sugar), Marta and Fraulein Maria order us to go and get dressed in our best clothes because we are going to walk in the park and ride the carousel and then we'll go to a cafe for lunch and have sachertorte, which is Marta's favorite kind of cake.

While we are walking in the park, Marta asks, "Fraulein Maria, can you sing that song about the notes that we learned yesterday?"

Fraulein Maria does. Then she says, "When you know the seven notes you can make all sorts of tunes by mixing them up. For example: _So-do-la-fa-me-do-re! So-do-la-ti-do-re-do!"_

We repeat the melody and Fraulein Maria says, "Good!"

But somehow I'm not satisfied. There must be more to singing than the way it sounds.

"But it doesn't mean anything!" I say.

Fraulein Maria gives me a look of approval, as if I guessed the very thing she was going to say next. "So we put in words. One word for every note. For example: _When-you-know-the-notes-to-sing / You-can-sing-most-a-ny-thing!_"

"But that's three words," Gretl says but we are already singing so she shrugs and joins in.

Now we are sitting in the café and they waitresses have brought the sachertorte. The first bite of sachertorte always tastes best of all. This is why we have decided to let Marta take a bite before any of us do. Marta closes her eyes, places the fork full of cake into her mouth, and smiles a chocolatey smile. But as she begins to chew, she suddenly gasps and puts a hand to her cheek.

"Marta, are you all right?" Fraulein Maria asks.

Marta takes a napkin, gets up and leaves the table. We all jump up to follow but Fraulein Maria motions for us to stay and follows Marta. While they are gone, we try to understand what happened.

"Do you think there was something in the cake?" Friedrich asks. He picks up his fork and brings it to his mouth.

"No, don't!" Gretl shrieks. "What if it's poisonded?"

"Poisoned," I correct.

"It is?" Gretl asks in horror.

"Of course not!" Louisa snaps.

Fraulein Maria and Marta come back. Marta's mouth is firmly closed.

"Marta lost a tooth," Fraulein Maria says. "And she just doesn't understand how wonderful that is."

Louisa, Kurt and I glance at each other. We don't really see what's so wonderful about losing a tooth but of course, we're not going to say so.

"_I'm_ not going to have any cake," Gretl says. "I don't want to lose a tooth."

Fraulein Maria's eyes are smiling. "It has nothing to do with the cake. Marta's tooth has probably been shaky all morning. Am I right?" she asks Marta.

Marta nods reluctantly. She keeps her mouth closed.

"She was probably afraid that if she showed it to you, you would pull it out," Louisa suggests. She puts her arm around Marta. "Some of our governesses did that."

"Did you really think I would do that?" Fraulein Maria asks.

Marta shakes her head emphatically. There are tears pooling in her eyes.

Liesl puts her arm around her.

"Marta, it's just a tooth," I say.

Fraulein Maria gives Marta a long look. Then she looks at the rest of us. "My goodness! Don't any of you understand? Losing a tooth is a sign that you are growing up. What a perfect birthday present!"

Marta's eyes widen and she finally opens her mouth, revealing the gap. "No, it's not! It looks ugly! Why couldn't the tooth stay in my mouth for just one more day? I was really careful when I was eating because I didn't want it to fall out and spoil my birthday party!" She burst into tears.

Fraulein Maria stares at her, then, pulls her onto her lap. "Come here. Now I'm going to tell you a story and I want you to listen. Once upon a time there lived a princess named Marta. She was brave and good and very, very beautiful."

Marta smiles a little.

"One day, the princess went for a walk in the woods with all of her ladies-in-waiting and two strong soldiers to keep her safe. But suddenly, a huge dragon appeared before them."

Marta's eyes widen.

"Marta, Gretl, is the story too frightening?"

Marta and Gretl shake their heads. "No," they say, breathlessly.

He carried Princess Marta away – "

"The soldiers wouldn't let him do that!" Kurt says. "They had swords and pistols."

"Yes, the soldiers fought bravely but one by one, they were knocked unconscious. So the dragon carried princess Marta – "

"What about the ladies-in-waiting?" Louisa demanded. "Didn't they do anything?"

Fraulein Maria sighs. "Yes. The ladies-in-waiting also fought valiantly. They had brought sachertorte and fruit with them and they threw chunks of it at the dragon. The best fighter among them was the courageous Lady Gretl. But they could not stop the dragon. So he carried the princess Marta into the sky but then suddenly, she turned around to face him and smiled a beautiful smile. And that's when the dragon saw that the Princess Marta was missing a tooth."

Fraulein Maria holds a dramatic pause.

"Then what happened?" I ask.

"The dragon was not afraid of teeth. He had teeth of his own. But he was terribly afraid of those who had missing teeth. For if a person had missing teeth it meant that this person was probably still growing and becoming bigger. Who knows how much bigger? Perhaps one day, big enough to destroy him. So when the dragon saw Princess Marta's smile, he screamed, dropped her and flew far, far away into the mountains. And the Princess Marta floated down gracefully, holding onto her magical pink parasol."

Marta tries to keep the sulky expression on her face but the smile is just bursting to get out and finally, Marta cannot keep it in anymore. She smiles.

"Now shall we give your cake away to one of the boys or are you going to eat it?"

"I'll eat it," Marta giggles.

I am glad that the story made Marta smile but something about it bothers me.

"What about the king?" I ask. "Wasn't there a king too?"

Fraulein Maria nods. "Certainly there was a king."

"Well, then, where was he? Why didn't he try to rescue the princess?"

Marta looks at Fraulein Maria questioningly.

Fraulein Maria sighs. "Um…the king…was away on a very important sea voyage. But just at that moment when the dragon captured the princess, the king felt a queer sort of feeling inside and just knew that his daughter was in trouble. And he turned around the ship and sailed all the way home. "

We sit in silence.

"I miss father," Gretl says suddenly.

"Me too," Marta says, again looking dangerously close to tears. "I wish he could be here for my birthday party."

I am furious at myself. Why did I mention a king? Now the mood is spoiled and so is the story and it is all my fault.

"Your father will be here soon," Fraulein Maria says. "Very soon. And I am sure that he…" She hesitates then continues. "He misses you just as much as you miss him."

"I glance at Louisa and Friedrich. I can see in their eyes that they don't believe it.


	9. Chapter 9

"The thing about rowing a boat is that you have to do it to a steady rhythm," says Fraulein Maria. "It's like singing."

Fraulein Maria sits in the middle of the boat, with Gretl next to her. I wish_ I_ could sit next to her, but Gretl cannot swim, so she has to stay close to Fraulein Maria to make sure that she doesn't fall out.

"I would never fall out!" she told Fraulein Maria indignantly this morning. "I'm not a baby."

"Even very grown-up girls fall out of boats sometimes," Fraulein Maria told her firmly.

Now we are slowly moving across the lake. Fraulein Maria, Louisa and the boys are rowing.

"It's not like singing at all," Louisa says. "Rowing is hard work."

"Are you tired?" Kurt asks. "Would you like to rest?"

It is more a challenge than a concerned question, so Louisa huffs and says, "I'm fine. But it seems to me that you're rowing slower than the rest of us. _You_ can take a break if you want."

"I'm not rowing any slower than you are!"

"He is, isn't he, Fraulein Maria?"

Fraulein Maria takes a deep breath. "Kurt, dear, you are a little slow. But it's not due to being tired. It all has to do with rhythm, like I said." She pauses, then her face lights up. "You know what we'll do? Those who aren't rowing will sing. If we row to the music, we're sure to do just fine. Liesl, start us off. "

Liesl sits up and nods. Then her clear voice rings out, "Do – a deer, a female deer/ Re…"

Gretl, Marta and I join in.

"Re – a drop of golden sun!"

I love this. Singing in a boat while the sunshine warms our faces…I suddenly see two people on the shore by our house and my song gets stuck in my throat. One of these people is father. The other is a woman with blond hair and a rose-colored dress. And they are both staring at us.

Father isn't supposed to be home yet. He was supposed to come later this evening, in time for dinner. We were supposed to greet him, dressed in our best clothes and behaving like young ladies and gentlemen. Fraulein Maria now turns around and sees them too. And then she does a most unexpected thing. She stands up, right in the boat, and cries, "Oh, Captain! You're home!" And at the next moment, the boat is suddenly rocking back and forth and back and forth and while I am desperately trying to hold on to it, I hear a huge splash and a spray of water rises up and soaks me to the skin. Who fell out? Was it Fraulein Maria? And then the boat tilts back more and more and my fingers slip and I fall into the water too.

Splash!Someone lands in the water at my right, and the water blinds me for a moment. Splash! Someone at my left._ This is fun,_ is the first thought I have and immediately another follows: _You've got to be crazy to think that falling out of a boat is fun! Father will be angry! _And then I remember Fraulein Maria saying_, even very grown-up girls fall out of boats sometimes,_ and I find that I am laughing at the silliness of it all.

And then I remember why Fraulein Maria said it in the first place. Gretl. She can't swim. Where is Gretl? My heart begins to beat hard and fast.

"Gretl!" I call out. "Gretl!"

"I've got her!" It's Louisa and she is holding Gretl, both of them giggling, although Gretl's giggle is a bit nervous. She must have been really frightened for a moment. But now she is safe and I begin giggling too, out of relief.

"Come out of that water at once!"

We all jump at father's voice. It has been so long since we heard him shouting at us…we've forgotten how it felt.

We wade to the shore. Liesl, Friedrich and Kurt have already reached the shore and are already standing in line. We join them. I've forgotten how it felt to have to stand in line. Father marches up and down the line, making sure it's straight. We are all soaked to the skin. When we leave there will be seven puddles in a perfectly straight row. When father gets to Louisa, he touches her kerchief and with a sudden quick motion, rips it off. Louisa winces.

He didn't have to do that. Certainly, he could have _asked_ her to take it off. I understand that he is angry…but why? Because we fell out of a boat?

"This is Baroness Shraeder," he finally says, nodding to the woman with the blond hair and the rose-colored dress. "And these…are my children."

Baroness Shraeder smiles and gives us a nod of greeting. She looks like a painting. Like a perfect, pretty painting at a museum. If I accidentally splash her a little bit, the colors will probably leak and the painting will probably be spoiled.

Fraulein Maria stands next to us. I notice that he hasn't introduced her, although he introduces other governesses when guests come. He hasn't even looked at her, as though she isn't there.

"All right, go inside, get changed, report back here! Immediately!"

The little girls run toward the house like someone is after them and the rest of us follow.

"Fraulein, you will stay here, please!"

I pause and look at Fraulein Maria, hoping that she will give me a smile or wink but Fraulein Maria is looking straight at father.

"Brigitta, come on!" Liesl says.

I follow.

"I suppose he's going to scold her for taking the boat without permission," I say, as we enter the house. My words sound idiotic, even to me. I realize perfectly well that it is much more than the boat.

Liesl turns around to stare at me. "What? Don't you understand?" she says. "He's not going to merely scold her. He's going to send her away." Tears flash in her eyes and she runs into her room and slams the door.

No. Liesl is wrong.

"You're wrong!" I shout and slam my door too.

He can't send her away! He just can't! Maybe if we talk to father telling him how much we like her…but father couldn't care less about who we like. Maybe if we show father all that we've learned this summer…but if it's not what father wants us to learn it might as well be nothing.

My uniform feels strange on my skin. Was the fabric always so tough and unyielding? Now that the uniform is on me, I immediately feel more serious and more grown-up. And if I'm going to think like a grown-up, I have to admit that Liesl is probably right. He is going to send Fraulein Maria away.

I sit down on the bed and begin to cry.


	10. Chapter 10

"Brigitta, are you ready?" Louisa comes into my room, without knocking.

I start wiping away my tears, then stop. I don't care if Louisa sees. I don't even care of she laughs at me. "Do you think father's going to send Fraulein Maria away?"

"You had better stop crying," Louisa says. "Father won't like it."

I notice that she hasn't answered my question.

Kurt peeks into the room. "She's downstairs," he whispers.

"Fraulein Maria?" I ask.

"No. Baroness Shraeder. She's talking to uncle Max."

I don't want to hear about Baroness Shraeder. I don't _care_ about Baroness Shraeder.

Gretl peeks in too. "Should I give her the flower _now_?" she asks Louisa.

"Give who the flower?" I ask.

"Baroness Shraeder!"

Furious tears rush to my eyes. I mustn't say anything to Gretl, she doesn't mean to make me angry. Only why is everyone discussing the Baroness? Doesn't anybody care that…that…

"No, you have to give it to her after we sing tonight," Marta says, following Gretl into the room.

"But I have to give it to her right after I pick it! Fraulein Maria said so!"

"No, she didn't!"

"Yes, she did!"

"Everyone downstairs." This is Liesl. She is holding Fraulein Maria's guitar and I've never heard her use that tone before.

"Liesl, what are you doing?" Louisa asks.

"We're going to sing to the Baroness. Right now."

"No," Friedrich says, coming into the room. "We're supposed to sing tonight."

"That will be too late. We have to sing now."

"But Fraulein Maria isn't here," Louisa says. "Someone has to play the guitar."

"_I'll_ play the guitar. Downstairs, everyone."

Liesl's tone leaves no room for argument. We follow her downstairs. Behind me Kurt whispers to Friedrich, "What's wrong with Liesl? She's acting like father."

"She's rather good at it," Friedrich says with admiration.

We enter the room tentatively. Uncle Max and Baroness Shraeder look up.

"Ah, there they are," says uncle Max. His bushy eyebrows rise. "Liesl, is that a guitar?"

"Yes," says Liesl. "I have been taking lessons."

"How lovely," says Baroness Shraeder. "You'll have to play something for us while we are staying here."

"Actually," Liesl says, "We'd like to sing for you…now…all seven of us."

Baroness Shraeder looks a little taken aback. "Now?" she asks with a polite little laugh. "Perhaps, I should call Georg first?"

Uncle Max grins. "Come, Elsa," he said. "I know you're not a music lover but if you escape now, we will never forgive you."

"Oh, Max!" Baroness Shraeder gives him a mock glare followed by a smile. She says to us, "You mustn't pay attention to anything he says. I_ am_ a music lover and I'd love to hear you sing."

Liesl's fingers softly strum the beginning chords.

I take a breath and realize that I cannot remember the first words of the song! What are they? With Baroness Shraeder's eyes fixed on me, I just cannot remember. I lower my gaze and end up staring at Gretl's back. She keeps her little hands behind her back, clutching the white flower so tightly that she almost crushes it. And for some unknown reason, looking at that flower, I remember the words and barely have the time to take another breath before we start singing.

"The hills are alive…with the sound of music. With songs they have sung…for a thousand years."

We sing. I can hear Kurt singing at my right and Louisa singing at my left. I can hear Gretl singing in front of me. And it suddenly occurs to me that perhaps… perhaps we are singing for the very last time.

We sing. Baroness Shraeder and Uncle Max look stunned. But we aren't singing for them. No, we are singing for Fraulein Maria who might never have the chance to teach us another song again. And we are singing for ourselves. For the freedom we find in the words and in the music.

"My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds that rise from the lake to the trees. My hearts wants to sigh like a chime that flies…from a church on a breeze."

Louisa gasps beside me. Father has appeared in the doorway and he stands frozen. He doesn't look angry. He looks …alone. And somehow that is even worse. We should stop singing. Only we can't because our voices seem to have a will of their own and stopping them is impossible. We sing on. And then he is…humming! Father is humming to our song.

"To sing through the night…"

Father opens his mouth and sings.

"Like a lark who is learning to pray!"

I am not singing. When did I stop? I didn't even notice when I stopped. We all stopped singing and none of us noticed.

"I go to the hills…when my heart is lonely!" Father keeps on singing.

He has a deep and rich voice. I don't understand how he could have a voice like that if he never sang before.

"I know I will hear what I heard before."

He must have sung before. But then why did he stop? _How_ could he stop? How could he bear to? Is it because singing made him feel alone? Father, there's so much I want to ask you but I am too frightened to even whisper it. Maybe someday I'll be brave enough. For now I can't talk to you but I can sing with you. Singing is easier because I already know the words.

"My heart will be blessed…with the sound of music. And I'll sing…once more."

We finish together, all eight of us. Liesl strums the last few notes on the guitar and then there is silence.

Father looks at us almost helplessly. I realize that I am not angry at him anymore. I didn't even know I _was_ angry at him until I stopped being angry. And now he looks very un-"fatherly" and very much like the rest of us. And suddenly I know what I should do and before I allow myself to get frightened at the thought of it, I take a step towards father and wrap my arms around his waist.

For a fraction of a second, father stiffens and I am afraid he will push me away. But then he wraps his arms around me too. He smells like cologne. His hands tremble slightly. I hear a glad cry from Gretl and Marta and a moment later, they are hugging him too. I open my eyes, only now realizing that they were closed, and I see Fraulein Maria standing against the wall in her wet dress and smiling at us.

* * *

**I am going to be taking a small break from this story. I will return to it...but I'm not sure how regular my updates will be. **


	11. Chapter 11

When father follows Fraulein Maria out of the room, Baroness Shraeder gives a surprised laugh although I really don't think there is anything to laugh at. Uncle Max insists we tell him all about how we learned to sing so beautifully. So we do, or rather Kurt and I do because Liesl has a dreamy, faraway look in her eyes and barely participates in the explanation and Friedrich and Louisa keep on clearing their throats. Gretl finds a permanent seat on the sofa next to the Baroness, which I suppose should make me angry but I just can't be angry at _anything_, I feel so happy and light and free.

Father hugged me. He hugged the others too, stroked Liesl's cheek, smiled at Friedrich, shared a laugh with Kurt but he hugged _me _first.

When father comes back, the Baroness raised her perfect eyebrows and asks, "Everything all right?"

"Yes, quite," father says. He glances at us and seems to study us anew.

"Remember, Georg, you promised to give me a tour of your mansion while I was here," the Baroness says.

Father turns back to the Baroness. "Can you really have any interest in dusty rooms full of history?"

She leans on his arm gracefully and says, "Certainly I do. You know, a house says a lot about the owner. Especially the _forbidden_ rooms."

Father laughs. "And are you so sure that I've got them?"

"Well, I _hope_ so. It would make things much more exciting."

It seems to me that father and the Baroness have their own secret language that nobody else understands. I don't like it. But even _that_ does not spoil my happiness because when Fraulein Maria comes back into the room with her hair brushed, wearing a neat, dry dress, I can easily see that no matter what happened before, she is not going anywhere. Not with the respectful nod father gives her and her answering smile.

I still need to be sure. "You_ are_ still our governess, aren't you?" I whisper, coming up to her.

Fraulein Maria gives me a startled look, then, says, "Yes, Brigitta, of course, I am."

"Fraulein, however did you manage it?" Uncle Max asks.

"Manage what, sir?"

"Not 'sir'. Only servants and people who owe me money call me 'sir'. What I meant was how did you know that Georg used to love this song?"

"I…I didn't. I only chose it because _I_ loved it."

"Well, it was a lovely choice, my dear," the baroness says. "What _are_ you planning to teach the children next?"

The way she says it makes it seem like she's referring to other things than singing. Things that aren't very proper for us to learn.

"Well, let's see. I have _some_ ideas…" Fraulein Maria's eyes turn playful. She doesn't say anything but glances at father for a moment and father is suddenly busy examining his sleeves for imaginary dust. But I see the smile that crosses his face and I wonder what private joke they are sharing.

"Fraulein, take the children upstairs and get them ready for dinner," he says suddenly.

Fraulein Maria seems startled. "Y-yes, captain."

"But father…" Gretl begins to protest.

"Gretl, I'll see you at dinner," father says quite firmly. But not harshly as he would have before.

Did our singing really work such magic?

When we go back to our rooms, Liesl follows me in and says, "Brigitta, I have to tell you something."

"All right," I say, but my stomach suddenly feels hollow. "Is it something good? Because last time you 'told me something,' you made me cry."

"I'm sorry about that. I don't think I will this time." Liesl takes a deep breath. "Today, you hugged father. I have been wanting to do the same thing for five years…but I was much too afraid."

"What? You?" I stare at her. "But you…you are the most affectionate of us. You're always putting your arms around me or Marta or Gretl or anyone who needs it!"

"Yes, Liesl says. 'But that's when I am sure that my embrace will be accepted. With father, I was afraid it wouldn't be. So even when mother had just died and father looked like he needed comfort, I still didn't put my arms around him because I was afraid of being pushed away. And then_ you_ did it today and you set me an example."

Me? An example to Liesl? Tears are suddenly streaming down my cheeks.

Liesl looks both dismayed and amused. "I _did_ make you cry, after all."

"That's all right," I sob. "I like it."

Kurt comes into the room, saying, "Liesl, Fraulein Maria wants you…" then, seeing that I am crying, stares and backs out again.

* * *

During dinner, uncle Max does most of the talking, telling amusing stories of the people he has brought to fame and their manners and quirks.

"So the dear woman gives a bow just as she is supposed to, only _after_ the bow she gives another bow, even _lower_. And then she decides that she rather likes the exercise, so she leaves the stage walking backwards and bowing, over and over and over again."

We are all laughing. But along with eating and laughing, there is a lot of _watching_ going on at the table. Baroness Shraeder watches father, of course, while father watches… us. And I find that I am entirely unused to having father's eyes fixed so attentively on me, fixed on me not because I have _done _something wrong but just because I_ am_ me.

After dinner, uncle Max says he has a surprise for us.

"Now, Max, you _did_ get Georg's approval first?" the Baroness asks.

"Of course not. He wouldn't have given it," uncle Max says lightly and when we finally reach the parlor, there stands a beautiful puppet theater.

We all shriek and rush over to examine the puppets (there must be at least ten!), the curtains and the gorgeous scenery.

Father chuckles. "A waste of time," he says. "But I expected worse."

"So sorry to disappoint you," says uncle Max.

Father and the Baroness go for an evening walk. Uncle Max also disappears somewhere. We spend hours playing around with the puppets, trying to understand how the strings work and trading with each other. Fraulein Maria sits back and watches us act silly for a while but suddenly, her eyes widen and a smile grows on her face. "Of course," she whispers. "Of course!"

Before any of us can ask her what she means, she leaves the room. In a moment, she is back with a sheet of paper and a pen. She goes over and studies each puppet, then scribbles something.

'What are you writing?" we keep asking her.

"You'll see."

We have to content ourselves with that.

Before bed, Fraulein Maria gathers us for prayer in her room, the way she has been doing for weeks. But today, for the first time, I pray, not because I want to please _her_, but because my heart is overflowing with gratitude to God for all the wonderful things that have happened today.


	12. Chapter 12

We come into Fraulein Maria's room after breakfast. "Are you going to tell us what you're plotting or not?" Louisa demands.

Fraulein Maria laughs. "All right. I've been _plotting_, as you so _kindly_ put it, our next performance. We are going to sing a yodeling song and do a puppet show."

That sounds wonderful. I am getting tremendously excited and so are the others but I also want to be cautious. "That sounds complicated," I say.

"Well, we'll start with the song. Once we've mastered that, we'll move on to the puppets."

"Can we start right now?" asks Gretl, looking at Fraulein Maria with pleading eyes.

"Lessons first, Gretl, you know that."

We moan and sigh.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you until later," Fraulein Maria sighs. "But when you're being suspected of _plotting_, what can you do?"

Once the lessons are over, Fraulein Maria sings and plays the song for us on her guitar and, for the next hour, we try to learn it. We can do the singing perfectly. But the yodeling…is another story. By the end of the hour, some of us do a more or less decent job. And some of us don't. Marta and Gretl still sound like tortured geese when they try to yodel and Kurt doesn't sound much better.

"Well," Fraulein Maria says. "I suppose we'll have to work on this some more."

"But I thought we'd do the puppet show today!" Gretl says, disappointed.

"You can play with the puppets but we can't start practicing for the puppet show just yet. We're not ready."

"Why not?" insists Gretl. She doesn't seem to understand just how far from ready _she_ is.

"Can we go outside already, Fraulein Maria?" Kurt asks, gloomily. _He_ understands that he isn't very good and that Louisa's eyes were laughing at him when he tried to yodel earlier. And Kurt can't stand that.

I want to say something sympathetic but before I can Fraulein Maria says, "All right." And then, touching Kurt on the shoulder quickly, "I'll race you to the gate!"

Kurt's face light up, the two of them take off and the rest of us attempt to follow but once we're outside the door, we stop short because they have stopped and they are standing in front of father and Baroness Shraeder. Fraulein Maria and Kurt look sheepish, father looks irritated and the Baroness looks amused.

"Fraulein, I won't have the children or _you_ running on these grounds."

"I…I admit that I should have been more careful, captain," Fraulein Maria says. "But I really think children need some place to run in. Didn't you like running when _you_ were a boy? Didn't you, baroness?"

The baroness only smiles but the smile says that, no, as a little girl, it would have sooner occurred to her to fly rather than run anywhere.

"I never said anything about running in general," father says. "I said I won't have running on the _premises_. Can you manage that in the future?"

"I think I can, captain," Fraulein Maria says, contritely.

"Good."

He and the baroness turn and saunter away. Fraulein Maria looks after them for a moment. Then she says, cheerfully, "Well, that wasn't so bad. I do believe your father and I are beginning to get along."

***

We practice faithfully everyday. One day, Fraulein Maria tells us that we are ready for the puppets. We cheer.

"There is a problem though and one that I didn't think of right away," she says. "And that's the problem of music. You see, if Liesl and I are both in the puppet show, then there is no to one play the music on the guitar."

"Do you _have _to have the guitar?" asks Liesl.

'Well, what else is there?"

"How about a phonograph?" suggests Friedrich. "Father has one. He'd lend it to us if we asked."

"Yes!" Louisa catches on. "We can buy a record with the music of "The Lonely Goatherd" and practice to it and then we can put it on during the show."

"Oh dear, this _is_ getting complicated," says Fraulein Maria. "How would we find the right record?"

"Uncle Max can find anything," I say. "Let's ask him, Fraulein Maria, please!"

And so, that is what we do. Father _does_ lend us the phonograph. Uncle Max _does_ find the record and we swear him to secrecy.

Of course, once we start using the puppets, we realize that the part we were looking forward to so much takes even more hard work than the yodeling. String puppets are so _tangly. _You have to make sure that you keep your hands at the exact right positions no matter what. If you lift your hand to rub your nose while holding onto a string, your puppet's foot will be lifted higher than _his_ nose and before you know it, he'll get tangled. And then you have climb down and untangle him while everyone else waits.

***

Today is the puppet show. When I wake up I am in _such_ a good mood that nothing, absolutely _nothing_, can change it.

I get up and begin to hurriedly button my dress, when suddenly one button pops off. (Father and Fraulein Maria have reached a compromise about our clothes. We don't wear uniforms anymore but we don't wear play clothes made out of drapes either. Instead we wear our regular clothes.) So I run through the hall in my nightgown, shouting, "Fraulein Maria! Fraulein Maria, I need a button!"

And then I see father, coming out of his room in his dressing gown. Oh, dear. It must be really early if _he_ isn't dressed yet.

"Brigitta, does it ever occur to you that there are people in the house other than _you?" _he asks, his voice dangerously quiet. "People that might not be up yet such as uncle Max or Baroness Shraeder? Or have you never considered the fact that other people sleep too?"

"I'm sorry."

"I don't care if you're sorry or not. You've forgotten the meaning of discipline in these past few weeks. I might have...changed a little...in my manner towards you since...well, recently. But my rules do not change. Now, since you so carelessly deprive others of their sleep, I think I'll deprive you of desert for today."

The whole time that he is talking, I am looking at him and it suddenly occurs to me that maybe his voice is not 'dangerously quiet' but simply quiet because everyone is sleeping. And when he admits that his manner _had_ changed and stammers a little, I am suddenly flooded with love for him. My father. On a sudden impulse, I wrap my arms around him and hug him tight. It gets easier each time I do it.

"Brigitta, I've just punished you."

He sounds puzzled and it makes me giggle. "Yes, father, I know."

After lunch everyone has ice-cream while I sip from my water glass. Everyone feels sorry for me. Friedrich even offers me a little of his ice-cream when father isn't looking. But I shake my head and remember the way I hugged father this morning and grin. And when Fraulein Maria asks me if I'm feeling all right, I begin giggling all over again.

The show is a success. Although my hands shake terribly in the beginning (so do Louisa's though she insists that they don't) and Gretl almost forgets to put the prince puppet on stage and Marta almost forgets the curtain and blows on the soap foam that's supposed to be beer foam so that it flies into Fraulein Maria's face and makes her cough. In spite of it all, the show is a success. As soon as it's over I feel _so_ relieved and immediately, I can't wait to start planning another performance so I could start feeling nervous again.


	13. Chapter 13

When we are done curtsying and bowing and the others are done clapping, father says, "Fraulein, I really am _very_ much impressed."

Fraulein Maria smiles. "They're _your_ children, captain."

"Yes," father says. For a moment he looks at her as if he wants to say something else but decides not to.

Uncle Max claps his hands. "Attention, everyone! I have an announcement to make! Surprise, surprise!"

We gather around him.

"Today, after a long and desperate search...I have found a most exciting entry for the Salzburg Folk Festival."

"What's that_?_" whispers Gretl.

"It's a show where you sing in front of a lot of important people," Marta whispers back.

"Congratulations, Max," father says. "And _who_ will you be exploiting this time?"

The baroness laughs.

"Guess," says uncle Max.

"The Saint lgnatius Choir?" father guesses.

"The Klopmann Choir?" tries the baroness.

"No, no, no. Guess again." Uncle Max's eyes sparkle.

"Tell us," the baroness pleads.

"A singing group all in one family."

"What a charming idea!" father says. But his cheerfulness seems to be kind of...forced. As if he and uncle Max are playing a game of pretend. Grown-ups are so hard to understand sometimes.

"Whose family?" father asks.

"Yours."

_Ours? _

_Us?_

_My goodness._

Does uncle Max really think we're _that_ good? Are we _really_ that good? For a moment, I picture us on stage in front of a lot of 'important people' as Marta put it, singing and smiling. I like how it makes me feel. The others seem to be excited too. Marta's mouth is open wide enough to fit a small melon.

Father stares at uncle Max for a moment with an unreadable expression. Then he begins to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Uncle Max seems to be a little hurt.

Father keeps laughing.

"_What_ is so funny?"

"You are, Max," father says. He pats Uncle Max on the cheek. "You are expensive...but very funny."

"But they'll be a sensation!"

"No, Max." Father is firm.

I hear Louisa and Kurt sigh wistfully. Well, I am not very disappointed because I hardly had time to get excited about it. It would have been nice though...

Uncle Max won't give up. "It's a wonderful idea, fresh, original!"

"Max!"

We jump.

"My children do _not _sing in public," father says, each word sharp and clipped.

Nobody argues with father when he speaks in that tone. Uncle Max gives in. "Well, you can't blame me for trying," he says.

There is a short tense silence. The baroness puts her hand on father's shoulder.

"Children," says Fraulein Maria, motioning for us to come closer. "Whom shall we hear from next?"

We look at each other. This morning we all agreed, that we would ask father to sing. But will he really sing _now_, when his face is dark and angry? Liesl goes ahead and whispers, "Father," anyway and we all nod. Fraulein Maria stares at us, then glances at father, then back at us. She looks almost frightened to approach him. She takes a deep breath and says, "The vote is unanimous." And she offers father the guitar.

Father looks her, stunned. Then for the second time, this afternoon, he responds with laughter. And my heart sinks. The laughter probably means _no_ just like it did before. But this time, his laughter is softer, maybe because Fraulein Maria is not uncle Max.

"No, no, no." Father grins and puts up his hands, refusing to take the guitar.

"I am told that long ago you were quite good," Fraulein Maria ventures.

"Well, that was a very, _very_ long time ago," father says.

"I remember father," Liesl says and once, she has spoken, we all interrupt each other in our chorus of, "Oh, please, father!"

Fraulein Maria says nothing, only looks at him, extending the guitar towards him.

"Well..." father smiles. And then he takes it and sits down and begins to strum the beginning chords of a song.

The baroness and uncle Max sit on the sofa. Fraulein Maria leans against the wall. We gather around father on the rug.

"Edelweiss... Edelweiss...Every morning you greet me!"

Father starts out softly, his voice like a lullaby. Gretl scoots closer to me and leans on my shoulder like a sleepy kitten.

"Small and white...clean and bright...You look happy to meet me!"

And his voice grows louder although it is still tender, still gentle. Then Liesl stands and goes to sit next to him, spreading out the white skirt of her dress, and sings too, echoing his voice with her own, knowing perfectly when to come in. Perhaps, they sang this song before, the two of them, a long time ago, when mother was alive.

When they end the song, it is silent. Everyone is too awed to even clap. Then the baroness says, "I have an idea. Let's _really_ fill this house with music. Georg, you must give a glorious party for me while I am here!"

A party? We haven't had a party in years.

Father nods slightly.

Fraulein Maria says, "All right, children, it's your bedtime. Say good night."

We all take turns saying goodnight to father. "It'll be my first party, father!" Gretl shrieks as she backs out of the room and nearly smacks into the wall. Fraulein Maria takes her hand and guides her upstairs.

* * *

The next day, I wake up with a sore throat.

Now how can that be? Everyone _but _me gets ice-cream for desert and I am the _only_ one to get a sore throat. Sometimes life makes absolutely no sense.

Fraulein Maria makes sure I drink tea with honey and touches my forehead every few hours but I am all right except for my throat. I wouldn't mind so much, only after dinner, father wants to take everyone to see a play. Everyone except for Gretl and Marta (because they are too young) and me. Because of my sore throat. Fraulein Maria is staying with us.

When the little girls hear this, Gretl begins to wail and although Marta doesn't protest, her eyes fill with tears too.

"Come on, girls, let's be cheerful. Think of how much fun we will have when everyone is gone!" Fraulein Maria says. 'Won't we, Brigitta?"

I do _not_ feel like being positive. I am angry at the horrible unfairness of it. But Fraulein Maria is looking at me with such expectation, that I force a smile and nod. "Yes," I say. "Lots of fun."

Louisa comes into my room right before they to leave. She is wearing a pale blue dress and asks me to tie her sash. "I _would_ ask Fraulein Maria but I can't seem to find her anywhere. I think she's helping the baroness," Louisa says.

"Helping her do what?" I ask.

"Oh, you know. To get dressed. To arrange her hair. The baroness wants to look pretty for father." Louisa rolls her eyes.

"Oh," I say. I don't particularly like the idea of it and I want to say so but my throat hurts so I decide not to.

"Although I don't think she's half as pretty as Fraulein Maria," Louisa continues.

"Me neither."

"I think father must like Fraulein Maria better too."

"Well, I don't know," I say. I only mean to say that I don't think father ever thought of comparing the two of them. But I suppose Louisa takes it to mean that I think father likes the _baroness_ better because she immediately begins to argue with me.

"He does! Did you see the way he looked at her when he was singing last night?"

"What do you mean?" I stare. "He took turns looking at everyone."

"Yes but he looked at her extra long. And _she_ looked at him too."

"Well, of course, she looked at him. _Everyone_ was looking at him because he was singing."

"Oh, Brigitta! And Fraulein Maria says that you 'notice everything'."

"She does?" My cheeks grow warm. I've always thought that I noticed a lot of things other people didn't. It's nice to hear that Fraulein Maria thinks so too.

"Yes. But she's wrong because it was right there in front of you and you didn't see it," Louisa gets up and walks out into the hall.

"Or maybe you're just making it all up, so stop showing off about how smart you are!" I snap and slam the door.

Louisa makes me so angry sometimes.

Friedrich knocks on my door a little later to inform me that they're leaving. "I hope you'll have a nice time with Fraulein Maria," he says.

I ought to say that I hope they have a nice time too. But to be honest, I hope it rains and everyone has to stay home. So I don't say anything except good-bye and watch him leave with a lump in my throat.

* * *

**Yes, poor Brigitta. ****But this quiet evening at home will actually prove to be quite interesting for her. For once, I actually know _exactly_ what is going to happen in the next chapter so it should follow relatively soon.**


	14. Chapter 14

After the others leave, I am surprised to find that I _am_ having a good time. First, we go to Gretl's room to put her to bed. Fraulein Maria teaches us a new song about the moon and the stars and tells us a story about three sisters and the different adventures they have. Then, we say our prayers. As soon as Gretl falls asleep, Fraulein Maria whispers, "Fellow prisoners, _now_ is the time to escape!" And Marta and I tiptoe out of the room, holding in our giggles.

Next we go to Marta's room. Fraulein Maria tells us another story and at Marta's request, sings "Edelweiss". Then she kisses Marta good night and we leave her, smiling into her pillow. When we are out in the hall, Fraulein Maria looks at me.

"I suppose it's my turn," I say gloomily.

"Well," says Fraulein Maria. "I suppose it is. But it's only 9:00 o'clock. I think I _could_ let you stay up about half an hour more."

"Really?"

"But I can't tell any more stories. I think _my _throat is getting a little sore." Fraulein Maria laughs a little. "Here is what we'll do. Let's go to _my_ room. I have some work to do and you can bring a book and read. It'll be very cozy."

I dash to my room and grab Mary Poppins before dashing to Fraulein Maria's room and settling on her bed. Fraulein Maria makes sure I am comfortable before sitting down at her desk with some paper and a pen. She begins to write.

I am supposed to read now. But instead I study Fraulein Maria, the way she unconsciously ruffles her own hair and taps her fingers against the table when she is thinking hard. I wonder whether Louisa was right and she really _does_ like father. Maybe I should ask her now when there's nobody else to hear. Only I don't quite feel right about the idea.

You see, last year, in school, we had dancing lessons. My dance partner was Hans, a boy with shiny yellow hair and ten freckles. He was funny. And nice. I think maybe I liked him a little. But one day a girl named Helga came up to me and said, "Brigitta, do you care for Hans? I mean, as a _boy,_ not as a friend?"

I felt my cheeks grow hot and I realized that which boy I liked and whether I liked a boy _at all_ wasn't anybody's affair but my own. Oh I suppose, I might have told Liesl about Hans if she had asked. But no one else.

So I told Helga that it wasn't any of her business. But I suppose I waited for too long because she began to giggle and dance around me and sing, "Brigitta loves Hans! She loves it when they dance! Just wait till I tell the others! Oh, what a sweet romance!"

I suppose she must have thought of the song before coming to talk to me because nobody could think of _that_ on the spot. Anyway, it made me so angry that I felt the tears rush into my eyes and before I knew it I said, "I hate you, Helga."

I said it very calmly and seriously. Almost politely. But I suppose it shocked her because her eyes widened. And then she said, "Brigitta, you're not going to cry, are you? I was only teasing. Please don't cry. If you do, you'll have to tell why and I'll get into trouble."

'I'm not going to tell," I said coldly and turned around and walked away.

She never teased me about Hans again. But whenever I looked at her while Hans and I were dancing, she would smile as if she knew a secret and then I would forget the steps that came next. Finally, she got moved into the higher dance class and I could enjoy dancing lessons again.

So If I ask Fraulein Maria whether she likes father, _she_ might feel like that isn't anybody's affair but her own. And I don't want to be like Helga. So I try another question, one that is a little less nosy, I think. "Fraulein Maria, have you ever been in love?"

Fraulein Maria stops writing to stare at me. "What is it with you girls?" she asks, laughing. "First, Liesl asks me if I ever had an admirer. Well, that didn't surprise me too much, coming from _Liesl_. But then _Louisa _asks me if I ever had a marriage proposal. And now _you're_ asking me if I have ever been in love!"

I grin. I suppose, I'm not as clever as I thought if two other people already had the same idea before me.

"No," Fraulein Maria says. "I have never been in love."

She goes back to her work. I try to read. But although I like the book, it feels as if, here, in the same room with Fraulein Maria, I am wasting time reading that I could spend talking to her.

"What are you writing?" I ask.

Fraulein Maria sighs. "The song that we are going to sing at the party."

I gasp. "You mean…you actually make up…the _whole song_? Out of your head?"

Fraulein Maria shakes her head. "I heard the melody once when I was a little girl. My father would sing it to me. But I forgot most of the lyrics. So I am writing new ones. " She sighs again. "Honestly, I don't know how I'll ever finish it by tomorrow."

"May I hear what you have?" I ask.

"All right. Now when I sing_ lalala_, it means I don't have words for this part yet."

Fraulein Maria clears her throat and sings.

"_Lalala – lalalala – lalala – lalala _

_Lalala – lalala- la – too_

_And up in the nursery a la – little bird_

_Is popping out to say cuckoo!_

_Cuckoo! Cuckoo!_

_Lalalalala – tell us_

_Lalalala – compel us_

_To say goodbye_

_To you!"_

She waits for my reaction.

"I like it," I say. "But you're right. It's far from finished."

"That's not all," says Fraulein Maria. "I need to write a special line for each one of you to sing as a solo. And each solo has to fit each person especially. For example, here is Liesl's."

She clears her throat.

"_So long, farewell_

_Au revoir, auf weidersehen _

_I'd like to stay_

_And taste my first champagne."_

I giggle. I see what she means now. That line is _perfect_ for Liesl. "Can I hear the other solos?"

Fraulein Maria sighs. "I haven't written any of the others yet. But I'm working on them as well as the first verse."

Suddenly, I get an idea. "Fraulein Maria…can_ I_ try to write some of them?"

Fraulein Maria's eyebrows go up. _"You?"_

"I'll try to make them rhyme and I'll...I'll try to make them _fit, _like you said. Please?"

"Well…I think that's an excellent idea," says Fraulein Maria.

She seats me at her desk and gives me a fresh piece of paper and a pen. Then she settles on the bed to do her own writing.

I turn back to the paper. Let's see. I think I'll try to write Marta's line first.

Let's see. _So long, farewell, auf weidersehen...good night…_

Lots of things rhyme with night. But the line has to sound good coming from _Marta_. I imagine the different words sung with her voice.

_So long, farewell, auf weidersehen, good night…_

_

* * *

_

"Goodness, Brigitta! It's 10:30!"

I look up sharply and I am suddenly aware of the ache in my hand. I put down the pen.

Fraulein Maria studies me with dismay. "I am sorry. I should have sent you off to bed a long time ago. But why didn't_ you_ tell me it was so late?"

I can only stare at her, a strange new feeling coming over me.

Sometimes when I am reading a very good book, I am pulled so far and deep into it that I lose track of everything. I forget where I am, when I am, even _who_ I am. But I have never before been so deeply pulled into my_ own_ writing. It was this process of writing that was powerful enough to carry me far, far away from here…and it's a wonderful feeling.

"I…I got carried away," I say.

"Oh," says Fraulein Maria. "Well…may I read what you wrote?"

My stomach suddenly starts to ache, as well as my hand. I wonder if she will think my lines are _very_ bad. "It's not finished," I say. "I still need to work on it." I hand her the paper.

Fraulein Maria reads it slowly. Then she looks up and a smile begins to grow on her face. "Brigitta, these are _good_! Why, we can actually _use_ these!"

Oh. So before, when she gave me the pen and paper and allowed me to sit at her table, she was just letting me enjoy myself. She didn't really think I would come up with anything worth using. But that's all right. I am not angry. After all, how could she know I would write something good when I, myself, didn't know it?

"Really? They are?" I ask.

"Well, they need a little bit of editing," Fraulein Maria says. "For example, this one here has too many syllables. Just take out an extra adjective and it'll be perfect. Things like that. If you will permit me, I will polish them tonight. And tomorrow, we can start to practice. Now off to bed. Immediately."

I skip off to bed. _So long, farewell, auf weidersehen, good night…_


	15. Chapter 15

"All right, let's do it again from the very beginning," says Fraulein Maria.

We moan and sigh. We've been practicing for more than an _hour_ now.

"Fraulein Maria, can_ I_ go? I know _my_ line," Marta says.

Gretl hears her. "I know _my_ line too!" she wails. "If _she_ can go, then so can I!"

"Oh, stop whining," Louisa snaps. "We're all tired."

"All right, Marta, Gretl, you can go play in Marta's room. But only you two." Fraulein Maria decides.

"What?" Louisa's mouth falls open. "That isn't fair."

Fraulein Maria sighs. "They're very young, Louisa," she says, quietly. "They get tired quickly."

Louisa rolls her eyes and gets back in her place.

We go over the solos again, skipping Marta's. Liesl sings hers perfectly. So does Friedrich. Then it's Louisa's and Kurt's turn to do their line (they're the only ones who share a line).

Kurt puts on a goofy, dreamy smile that makes me giggle every time. Louisa looks like she hates the world, the audience included. "I leave and heave a sigh and say good-bye," they sing in unison.

"Stop." Fraulein Maria puts up her hands.

We moan again. Will this rehearsal _ever _end?

Kurt turns to Louisa. "You didn't smile."

"I sang it right, didn't I? I don't feel like smiling right _now_."

"Oh and of course, I _do_! Because I _like _repeating the same line all day like a parrot!" Kurt's tone is so sarcastic, he doesn't even sound like himself. He begins to sing, "I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye. I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye. I leave…"

"Kurt, that's enough," Fraulein Maria says.

Kurt isn't finished. "You're supposed to smile! It's called _acting_!"

Louisa stomps her foot. "That's _it_! I am not singing with him! I don't care _what_ you do to me!" And she glares at Fraulein Maria, defiantly, like the hero of a play.

Fraulein Maria takes a deep, deep breath. Then she says, "Neither of you inquired as to why_ I_ stopped you in the first place. And I did because…this isn't working."

What isn't working? The _song_? Is she going to cancel it _entirely_?

"The two of you shouldn't sing together. You are very different…your styles are different. Kurt, you will sing your line alone. Then you can show off your _acting_ with no one to hinder you." Her tone is mildly sarcastic and Kurt has the grace to redden a little.

"Louisa, you will get the second half of Brigitta's solo."

The second half? But that means_ I_ get less to sing! I open my mouth to protest. Fraulein Maria gives me an appealing look. I close it. Things are difficult enough.

Louisa protests though. "You mean I have to sing about flying and floating? I don't like that line. It's silly."

"I'd like to see _you_ write a better one instead of complaining about everything!" I snap.

"Girls…" Fraulein Maria says but Louisa ignores her.

"Oh, it's easy for you to say!" Louisa retorts. "_You_ write the lines, _you_ decide who gets to sing what, _you _give yourself whatever line you like best!"

"Louisa…"

"Of course, you never complain! If_ I_ was Fraulein Maria's_ favorite _who got my own way in everything, I wouldn't complain either!"

"I am _not_ her favorite!"

Crash!

Fraulein Maria has pushed over a chair and the sound echoes around us.

We are silent.

Fraulein Maria's face is red. "Rehearsal is over. I don't want to hear a single word about the song from _anyone_. Louisa and Kurt, go to your rooms. I'll stop by and have a _conversation_ with each of you."

* * *

The rest of us are outside by the house now. Friedrich and Liesl are tossing a ball to each other. Gretl wanted to play ball too so they made her monkey –in-the-middle. She is running back and forth between them, wailing, "Friedrich! Liesel! You're supposed to make it _easy_ for me!" Liesl throws the ball badly on purpose and lets Gretl catch it.

Marta comes up and seeing my face, hugs me. "Are you feeling better now?" she says.

I nod. But really, I am not. Am I _really_ Fraulein Maria's favorite?

No, I am not! Yes, I helped write the song. But I wasn't showing off or anything. I was just doing it because I loved it. How was I supposed to know people would fight so much over the lines I gave them_?_

No, Louisa is entirely wrong. I _hope _she gets punished. I hope Fraulein Maria will give her a long lecture and leave her without desert for a _month_. I hope Fraulein Maria will tell father and he won't let Louisa go to the party.

* * *

When we start lining up to go to dinner, Louisa is standing there already with Fraulein Maria. Her eyes and nose are red.

Kurt comes out of his room. He looks at Louisa for a moment, then comes up to her and says, "I'm sorry, too."

Everyone laughs except for me. _They_ think this is funny. I don't.

Louisa turns to me. She waits for me to help her out the way Kurt did. I don't.

"I'm sorry I said those things," Louisa says quietly, looking at the floor.

I glare at her. "You're just saying that to get out of being punished more."

Louisa looks up, angry again. "That's not true. I'm saying it because I _am_ sorry."

"All right, you're sorry." I look up at Fraulein Maria. "Can we go already? I'm hungry."

Fraulein Maria gives me a reproachful look. I know she wants me to be friendlier, more forgiving. But I don't want to be. Let Louisa feel what it's like to have someone be unkind to _her_ for once.

* * *

During dinner, I do not talk to Louisa unless I absolutely have to. Uncle Max makes the others laugh but not the two of us. Father's eyes study me and they study Louisa, although he speaks of other things. Fraulein Maria is quieter than usual.

"I made an appointment with a hairstylist for later today," the baroness says. Then she smiles at Fraulein Maria. "Why don't you come with me, my dear? You look a little tired." Her tone becomes coaxing. "Georg, won't you give Maria a well-deserved holiday?"

"I'm sure that could be arranged, if that's what you want, fraulein," father says.

Fraulein Maria looks embarrassed. She brings her hands up to touch her short hair. "I…I am afraid I haven't the time tonight. Thank you, baroness."

"I understand perfectly, dear." The baroness sighs. "I wish I could stay too. All of you are going to have _such _a good time without me. But what can I do? There was a time when I had lovely golden curls like Louisa's but…" she trails off.

Uncle Max grins. "Elsa, you are asking for compliments."

The baroness burst into merry laughter. "Well and what if I _am_? Why don't you give me any, Georg?"

Father smiles too. "Because you are expecting them. The best compliments should always be unexpected_._"

How can grownups act so unbearably silly? Louisa turns to me and rolls her eyes. But I ignore her.

* * *

After dinner, Louisa follows me to my room. "Are you going to stop sulking any time soon?"

"Why should I?" I say. "You hurt my feelings very much."

"If you stop being angry at me…I'll tell you what Fraulein Maria and I talked about."

I already know what you talked about," I say. "She told you that you were wrong."

"Partly," Louisa says. "But she also said some _very_ interesting things. And they were private things. Just between me and her. But _maybe_ I could tell you…"

Now I know Louisa and I know that she's just trying to make me curious. Only...it's working well. And anyway, I can't stay mad forever…

"All right," I say. "But _only_ if it's actually interesting."

"It is." Louisa sits down on the bed. "She said, 'Louisa…you remind me, in many ways, of your father.'"

My mouth drops open. "What?"

Louisa speaks just like Fraulein Maria would, with that same calm, positive tone of voice. "'You are _strong_. You are determined. You are not afraid to fight. '" Louisa sighs. "Now that is the kind of praise I like. Not being told that I have 'lovely golden curls_'_."

"What else did she say?"

"She said, 'But the _strongest _people are the ones who have perfect self-control.'"

Louisa drops the Fraulein – Maria voice. "And then she said that father had nearly perfect self-control and that's partly why he was so successful as a sea captain and why everyone respected him so much. And that if I ever want to be like father, I need to learn self-control too."

"That_ is_ interesting," I admit.

"Well, of course. And I suppose you're my friend again?"

'I suppose so," I say.

"Good!" Louisa skips out of the room. If she had been Liesl or Marta or Gretl, she would have hugged me first. But Louisa isn't like that. She is more…_strong. ____Like father._

It's curious that Fraulein Maria saw Louisa more clearly than_ I_ ever did.


	16. Chapter 16

I always knew our house was very large and very old but I never thought of it as a_ palace_ before.

Today it seems like one.

And I always knew our house was very fine but I never thought of it as _beautiful_.

Today it is. Today, the shining couples floating around our ballroom to the strains of magical music make our house seem like a fairyland. I understand now why the baroness likes parties so much. There she is in her golden gown with her blond hair perfectly styled, flying around the room with such speed and yet such grace that…it's like another side of her that I've never seen before, a side that is freer and more lovely.

"The women look so beautiful," I say.

"I think they look ugly," Kurt says.

Louisa and I look at each other and roll our eyes. He just doesn't want to admit that they look beautiful because he is a _boy_. "You're just saying that because you're _scared_ of them," Louisa says.

"That's silly! Only grown-up men are scared of women," Kurt retorts.

"I think the _men_ look beautiful," Gretl says.

We try not to laugh. "How would you know?" Louisa says.

Gretl gives her a dignified look and continues watching the couples.

Meanwhile, Liesl takes a few steps away from us. She looks up into the empty air, smiles as if there is someone there, then points to herself, her eyes asking "_Me?"_ I suppose her imaginary partner says yes because she curtsies and begins to dance.

Is she imagining a real person? Maybe that young man she goes meet every time there's a telegram?

"Liesl, who are you dancing with?" I ask.

"Nobody," she says.

Oh, yes you are," Friedrich says and suddenly bows. "May I have this dance?"

Liesl stares at him, then grins and bats her eyelashes. "I'd be delighted, young man."

They dance quite decently, though not in the manner of the adult couples on the dance floor. Friedrich has gotten so tall this summer! When he and Liesl dance you can hardly tell that she is two years older.

Fraulein Maria comes over and observes the two of them with a smile. She looks…well, the same as always. Her dress is clean and neat without being extraordinary, she is wearing the same shoes she has been wearing every day. While she is still pretty (as always), today she doesn't seem to measure up to everybody else. Not quite. It makes me uncomfortable.

I study my brothers and sisters with their brushed shiny hair, wearing their finest clothes and enjoying themselves. _They _don't seem to notice or care. They're just having a good time without thinking about things like that. Why can't I do the same? _Why_ must_ I_ notice everything?

"Why didn't you children tell me you could dance?" Fraulein Maria asks.

"We were afraid you'd make us all dance together," Kurt says. "The Von Trapp Family Dancers." He attempts to turn in place and looks so silly that we all laugh.

"What's that they're playing?" Liesl asks.

"It's the Lendril. It's a folk dance."

"Show me." Kurt says, suddenly. "Please."

"Well…" Fraulein Maria looks uncertain.

"_Please."_

I think we're all surprised at Kurt's insistence. Just a moment ago, he seemed to imply that he was _afraid_ of being made to dance…now he wants to dance so much that he is actually _pleading_ for it? I give up trying to figure it out. Boys are a mystery.

Fraulein Maria nods and takes his hands into her own. "All right. It's like this: One, two, three, one, two, three, one , two, three, step together. Now…step, hop. Step, hop. Now turn under."

Kurt stumbles, and trips as he tries to follow her lead. She slows down the movements for his benefit but it doesn't help much. He still looks ridiculous, although to look at Fraulein Maria's face, you wouldn't know it. Her face is quite serious, quite calm, just as it is when she is teaching us anything. Who _cares _about her dress, after all? Her eyes and smile are filled with kindness. That's what matters.

Father approaches our group and for a while he watches Fraulein Maria and Kurt trying to dance. I see him laugh quietly when Kurt's and Fraulein Maria's arms get tangled. Fraulein Maria finally laughs and Kurt does too. "I suppose we need a little more practice," she says.

Fraulein Maria never says that we _can't_ do something or other or that we're hopelessly bad at it. But she_ loves_ the word 'practice.'

Suddenly, father offers Fraulein Maria his arm and says, "Allow me."

Fraulein Maria's eyes widen and she hesitates, but only for a moment. Then she smiles at father just like Liesl did at her imaginary partner and then they're dancing…oh, so _beautifully_.

It never occurred to me that Father might ask her. Yet, now it seems the most natural thing in the world because the two of them move as if they were one. Fraulein Maria is every bit as graceful and lively as the Baroness. Is it just my imagination or does Father seem surprised at how well she is dancing? Now they're laughing! I wonder, did father ask her to dance with him because he _likes_ her? Or did he just do it to be kind?

The music grows slower. Father and Fraulein Maria are now moving slower, each one looking directly into the other's eyes. Father is looking at Fraulein Maria so very _intently_…but then isn't he supposed to? And Fraulein Maria, well, she was looking into his eyes very intently, too, a moment ago. But now she has stopped smiling. And the look in her eyes is a little lost and almost…frightened.

But _why_? I thought she_ liked_ dancing with him.

Fraulein Maria stops. "I…I don't remember anymore," she says in a strangely choked voice.

"Your face is all red," I say.

Fraulein Maria's hands fly up to her cheeks. "Is…is it?" I realize that I shouldn't have said that. I've embarrassed her. "I don't suppose I'm used to dancing," she finally says, with an awkward smile. And father smiles too.

"That was beautiful, Georg. What a lovely couple you make."

We jump and turn around and there stands the baroness, with one hand on her slender hip, smiling.

Father clears his throat. "Isn't it time for the children to say good night?" he asks.

"Oh, yes! I'll go tell the musicians that we're to go next. We've got something very special prepared!" And just like that Fraulein Maria sounds like herself again and hurries us to the staircase where we're supposed to perform.

When we begin to take our places, Gretl suddenly plops down on the floor and crosses her arms. "I don't want to sing," she says.

"_What?_ Darling, why not?" Fraulein Maria asks.

"My stomach hurts. I just want to watch."

I suppose Gretl is nervous. We all are. We have never performed before so many people. But if _Gretl_ refuses to sing, the song will be ruined because she is at the very end and has an important part. I can see Louisa beginning to look angry and the others glance towards the audience and at each other, worried.

Fraulein Maria sits down next to Gretl and begins to fix her hair. "Well, you certainly don't _have_ to sing," she says. "But it will be a big pity if you don't. After all, you practiced so hard!" She puts one hand around Gretl's shoulder and gently rubs her stomach with the other. "Besides, there just might be a prince in the audience waiting for the _princess_ of the ball to come out and sing. Won't he be disappointed if you don't?"

Gretl shakes her head. "There isn't really a prince."

"There might be. You never know. Sometimes, they come in disguise and you don't recognize them until…." Fraulein Maria trails off.

"Until _what_?" Gretl asks.

Fraulein Maria hardly seems to hear her. A half-smile seems to grow on her lips and her eyes are fixed on some distant point. "Yes," she says. "Sometimes they do that."

Liesl kneels next to Gretl. "Gretl, please. We _need_ you."

I'm not sure whether it's the thought of a prince or the knowledge that we need her, but for whatever reason, Gretl agrees to sing.

The performance is a success. We all sing well. Gretl and Marta remember their lines. Liesl's and Kurt's lines make everyone laugh. Louisa and I have a small dance routine that we do perfectly. I am very happy, especially because some of the lyrics being sung are _mine_. Afterwards, Fraulein Maria takes us upstairs and wishes us all good-night, reminding us to say our prayers without her tonight because Uncle Max really wants her to stay at the party a while longer. Her manner is kind and and she makes sure to hug the little girls before going but through it all, I get the impression that she isn't fully there. She seems distracted. She seems confused.

Before going to sleep, I thank God for Fraulein Maria and I pray that God would give her whatever it is that she wants most of all, whatever is her heart's biggest desire. I think she deserves it. I fall asleep, wondering what she will teach us tomorrow.


	17. Chapter 17

It is early morning and everyone except father and Fraulein Maria is here in the parlor. Uncle Max and the Baroness are standing by the door, talking quietly. Everyone else looks sleepy and disoriented. We _never _meet in the parlor before breakfast. Something important must have happened and, I suppose, father wanted us to come here to learn about it. Only then, why isn't_ he_ here? And where is Fraulein Maria?

Uncle Max walks to the front of the room while the baroness remains by the door. "Are all of you here?" he asks.

Of course, all of us are here. He must already know that without asking so he isn't _really_ asking. He's just stalling for time. Why? _And where is Fraulein Maria?_

Liesl speaks for all of us. "We are all here, Uncle Max. Will you _please_ tell us what is wrong?"

Uncle Max looks at us unhappily, then, looks down. He clears his throat.

He doesn't want to tell us.

A draft of icy cold air appears somewhere between my chest and my stomach.

Uncle Max finally speaks. "Fraulein Maria returned to the abbey last night," he says.

I don't understand. None of us do. We stare at each other, confused.

"She left a note." Uncle Max pulls a piece of paper from his pocket.

I easily recognize Fraulein Maria's dark, crowded handwriting. The icy cold air begins to spread to my toes and fingers.

Uncle Max begins to read.

_For Captain Georg Von Trapp:_

_I know you are probably very surprised and possibly angry to find me gone with no warning or goodbye. Please, let me apologize for not informing you of my departure ahead of time. Due to certain circumstances it was impossible for me to do so. I hope you will forgive me for my rudeness. _

_I have enjoyed being a governess to your children more than I can say and I can say nothing but good things about the way I have been welcomed in your house. However, I have also missed my life at the abbey and I have finally decided that my place is there. Part of the reason I left so suddenly was to make it less painful for myself and once again I apologize for my selfishness and the inconvenience it has caused you. I hope you have no trouble finding another capable governess._

_With all of my respect, Fraulein Maria_

_PS: Dear children, I beg you not to be angry with me for leaving so suddenly. I honestly could not do otherwise although I shall miss all of you very much. I hope that as you grow and change you will still remain the same kind, intelligent, funny, strong group that I have had the privilege of knowing. May the Lord guide your footsteps._

Uncle Max lowers the letter and looks at us sympathetically.

I still don't understand. This is impossible. People like Fraulein Maria, kind, loving, reliable people, don't just leave you _forever _without even saying goodbye. They _don't_. This is all a mistake or a bad dream.

"Are you sure it's her handwriting?" Kurt says.

"I think it is," I whisper.

Uncle Max lifts an eyebrow. "What do you mean, Kurt? You don't think any of_ us_ wrote it?"

"No," says Kurt. "But I'd like to be sure that that the letter is really from her and she wasn't kidnapped or anything like that."

I see something flutter across the baroness' face. Is it a smile? How_ can_ she smile at a time like this? What if Fraulein Maria _was_ kidnapped and the letter _is_ a fake? It might sound absurd but I'd rather believe _that _than…than…

Father enters the room. He walks quickly and his face is hard and unreadable. He doesn't seem angry though, not exactly. The baroness looks up at him. "Well, Georg?"

Father's voice is as expressionless as his face. "I've just spoken to the Mother Abbess on the telephone. Fraulein Maria arrived at the abbey late last night. Apparently, she had a quick, safe trip."

I see Kurt swallow hard and look down. His theory has just fallen to pieces.

We go to breakfast.

Uncle Max asks the baroness if she would like to pray before the meal. She smiles and says that she rather dislikes praying in public. "After all, prayer is such a private thing," she says. So we don't pray. The servants fill our bowls with porridge and our plates with hard-boiled eggs and sausages. I don't eat very much. I drink my milk because if I don't Fraulein Maria will be sure to notice.

Oh. That's right. I forgot. She _can't_ notice because she's gone.

"When will Fraulein Maria come back?" Gretl suddenly asks.

Everyone is suddenly interested in their breakfast. Nobody answers her. Finally, father says, "She_ isn't_ coming back, Gretl."

"_Why?"_

"Because she wants to stay at the abbey," Friedrich says.

"_But why?"_

Everyone is silent. Gretl looks at all of us, then, looks down. We drink our milk in silence.

Marta says, "Father, make Fraulein Maria come back."

Father rolls his eyes. "Marta, I can't _make_ her do anything."

"Yes, you can. You can phone the abbey and ask to talk to her and ask her very _nicely_ to come back."

Can Marta's idea work? Maybe it will. At least, we should convince father to _try_ it. "Yes," I say. "And tell her that if she comes back, you will never scold her for anything and that you will let her take us tree-climbing and that we will listen to her all the time and always drink our milk and…" I pause, partly because I am out of breath and partly because I think I am about to cry.

Father shakes his head. "No, Brigitta, Marta, I can't."

Marta suddenly stands up. "Yes, you can! You can!" She begins to cry. "I want Fraulein Maria! I want her baaack!"

I reach over to put my hand around her. Marta turns around, glares at me through her tears and the next thing I know, she punches me in the arm and it hurts.

Now _Gretl_ has punched me before. But _Marta_? Never.

"Marta, stop that at once," father says sharply. He gets out of his seat and kneels next to her. "We are none of us very happy right now but that does _not_ give you an excuse to hurt others. You must apologize."

Marta stares at him, then wails, "I want her back!" And then throws her arms around father and sobs into his shoulder.

Louisa stands. "Father, may I be excused?" she says.

Father nods. Louisa walks towards the door. She opens it.

"Oh, children," says the baroness. "I understand it is upsetting but you really shouldn't take it _this _hard. I am sure your father will find you another good governess."

Louisa gasps and turns around. Her eyes glare at the baroness, her lips tremble, I see one of her hands clench into a fist. Then suddenly, she covers the fist with her other hand, rushes out of the room and slams the door behind her with all of her might.

Kurt's and Friedrich's faces are red. They stare down at their breakfast plates.

Marta keeps on crying.

"Really, Elsa," Uncle Max says, irritated. "Of all the things you could have said…" He trails off.

The baroness looks at us uneasily. "I did not mean to offend anyone," she says, quietly.

I'd like to ask her how she would feel if someone said that_ she_ could easily be replaced by another "good baroness." Would she_ like_ it? Still, it's true that she didn't mean to offend. Fraulein Maria says that people often hurt other people without even meaning to. So I_ should_ try to forgive the baroness. Because if I don't forgive her, I won't be able to be polite to her. And if I am not polite to her, Fraulein Maria will be sure to talk to me about it.

Oh. Again I forgot. Fraulein Maria is gone. So she won't speak to me about anything.

We attempt to eat our breakfast. Father remains next to Marta as her crying subsides into sniffles. He does not say anything or comfort her in any way. He doesn't even look at her. He stares off into space. But he remains next to her all through breakfast and lets her cling to his shoulder. I think that's all Marta really wants.

After breakfast, father sends us off to our rooms.

"Can't we spend time in each _others'_ rooms, father?" Liesl asks. "If we don't make noise?"

Father frowns and says that yes, you can, and thank you, Liesel for bringing that point up.

"Aren't we going to study?" Gretl asks. All _she_ usually did when we studied with Fraulein Maria was draw letters and paint pictures. But she likes to call it 'studying.'

"Um...no, for today you're to have a holiday," father says. "Perhaps, tomorrow I will examine some of you, see how ready for school you are."

We are all wondering, _what about after that?_ Are we going to have another governess? A governess that isn't Fraulein Maria...I think I won't be able to like her, no matter how I try.

When Liesel, Marta, Gretl and I come into Louisa's room, Louisa is sitting on the bed, her eyes and nose swollen and red. Liesl puts her arm around Louisa. "We all miss her," she says.

Louisa looks at us. "When the Baroness said that…that…I just wanted to _hit _her. I really did. I almost did. But then I stopped myself. I'm not even sure how or why but I did. And afterwards, when I was crying, I remembered what Fraulein Maria said about self-control and I was glad that I didn't hit her."

Liesl sighs. "I wish we could have had more time with Fraulein Maria. There was so much I wanted to ask her…"

"I wish she could have stayed forever," I whisper and Gretl and Marta nod in agreement.

"No," Liesl says. "That would be too much to ask for. Nobody stays forever. I've learned that. Even father won't be with us forever, you know." Liesl swallows and wipes a tear from her eye. "But I_ do_ wish she could have stayed with us just a little bit longer."


	18. Chapter 18

Without Fraulein Maria, everything becomes slow and dull again. There are no lessons to learn, no songs to practice, no stories or jokes. We talk to each other, play some card games, read for a while. Gretl is so bored that she actually takes a nap (which she hasn't done in _years_.) The hours drag by. When I tell Kurt just how bored I am, he says, "I know. But when Fraulein Hilda was here, we were even more bored. Remember how she would make us sit still while she talked about rules of good behavior for _hours_?"

"No, I don't," I say, sharply. I wonder why this conversation feels so familiar. Then I remember. Kurt and I used to have it all the time. It would almost be a tradition for us. I would complain about something, Kurt would say that with Fraulein Hilda things were even worse, and I would say that I don't _care_ about Fraulein Hilda. But Kurt hasn't mentioned Fraulein Hilda since Fraulein Maria came to us.

Are things _really _going to go back to the way they used to be before?

Well, not entirely, I suppose. First of all, father is different. He seems more interested in us, in getting to know us. When he speaks to us, he speaks quietly, his requests are reasonable and he does not snap. Second of all, we are allowed to sing.

It's too bad that we don't feel like it.

Liesl tries to get us to sing in the evening. "We have to keep in practice," she says. So we begin "The Lonely Goatherd."

But Fraulein Maria's voice is missing and the silence caused by her absence is a very loud silence, louder than the singing of all seven of us put together. My heart suddenly begins to ache horribly inside my chest and I find I am crying. I run to my room, where I throw myself on my bed, hug my pillow and sob.

_Why _did she leave? How could she _possibly_ like her life at the abbey more than staying with us? Maybe she _didn't _like staying with us. Maybe she was only so kind and cheerful and gentle because she _had to be,_ not because she loved us. With a pang, I remember all the times we fought and argued with each other and didn't listen to her and acted simply horrid. Maybe, she just couldn't stand us anymore.

And then I also remember the frog that I put in her pocket on the first day she came. I never did apologize for that stupid frog although she knew it was me already. Maybe she thought I was a horrible, hateful girl all along. I cry even harder.

Liesel comes in to comfort me, dressed in her nightgown. Maybe if I hide my face in her shoulder and close my eyes, I can pretend she _is _Fraulein Maria for a few minutes.

It is morning. It is morning and I just had the most awful dream. In my dream, Fraulein Maria had gone away. I open my eyes. I am still wearing my dress and stockings from yesterday and Liesl is asleep next to me. Why is she here? Oh, that's right. She was in my room last night because I was crying, so I guess she fell asleep here…Why was I crying?

Oh. Because of Fraulein Maria. Because she left.

Liesel stirs and opens her eyes.

"Good morning," I say, sadly.

Liesl looks around, disoriented. "Did I fall asleep here?" she asks. "Oh dear, I hope, father knows that I was _here_."

"Where else would you be?" I ask.

We talk for awhile. Then Louisa and Kurt come into my room, still wearing their night-clothes.

"Where were you last night?" Louisa asks Liesl. "I had to ask you something but you weren't in your room."

"I fell asleep here."

Louisa looks at us and perhaps, I can see a little jealousy in her eyes but she says nothing more on the start off talking about how much we miss Fraulein Maria. Then Louisa asks, "Do you think_ father_ misses her?"

"Of course, he does," I say. "He pretends _not_ to in front of uncle Max and the baroness but I _know _he does."

"But uncle Max misses her too. He told me so himself," Kurt says. "So it's really because of the baroness that father is pretending."

"I think the baroness_ wanted_ her to leave," Louisa says. When Uncle Max read the letter, she looked almost _happy_."

"Well, of course, she wanted her to leave," Liesl says. "That's only natural."

I am confused. "What do you mean?"

"Think about it," Liesl says. "The baroness wanted father to love her. She didn't want a pretty governess to get in the way."

Suddenly, Louisa's eyes get big. "Do you think she_ told_ her to leave?"

Liesl shakes her head. "No. She wouldn't do that. But maybe Fraulein Maria saw that she wasn't wanted anyway and that's why she left."

"We should tell father!" I gasp. If Liesl is right…then my theory is wrong and Fraulein Maria didn't leave because of_ us_. So I really, really want to believe Liesl is right.

Liesl smiles sadly. "Father is smarter than you think. I think he understands what happened perfectly."

I simply can't believe it. "Then why doesn't he ask Fraulein Maria to come _back_?"

"It's complicated," Liesl says. "It always is with adults."

Suddenly, there is a howl from down the hall. It sounds like Gretl.

Liesel jumps up, her face frightened. There is another howl.

_Definitely_ Gretl.

We hurry to her room. Gretl is sitting on the floor, crying hard, one hand wrapped around the other. Friedrich and Marta are kneeling beside her. The floor is covered with pieces of paper cut into little shapes, snowflakes and paper people.

Marta looks up and sees us. "Gretl's finger is_ very_ hurt!" she says.

There is a pair of scissors lying on the floor.

I stare at them and feel dizzy with sudden fear. Is Gretl's finger so badly cut that she will have to go to the hospital? Did she cut it off _entirely_?

Liesl's face is pale. "What happened?" she says, kneeling beside Gretl and prying her left hand away.

Gretl holds up her finger and wails, "Friedrich bit meeee!"

If I look very closely, I can see that the tip of Gretl's chubby finger is a little red.

Liesel exhales. Then she turns to stare at Friedrich. He looks awfully guilty. "See this is what happened," he begins. "I was cutting all sorts of things out of paper for Gretl and Marta and then Gretl wanted to cut too, so I gave her the scissors. But then, when she started using them I realized she was too little for scissors."

"I am _nooooot _too little!" Gretl wails.

"So I took them away from her. But she got really angry at me and started trying to get them back and I thought we were just playing around but I guess I accidentally…got her finger in my mouth. I didn't mean to," Friedrich finishes, his face red.

Liesel takes a deep breath and closes her eyes for a second. I wonder if she is praying for patience, the way Fraulein Maria used to do. Then she says, "Come on, Gretel, let's go get a bandage for your finger." They walk out of the room and Marta follows.

Louisa looks at Friedrich and shakes her head. "Boys are _such_ idiots," she says and walks out too.

Kurt makes a face behind her back and I can't help but smile.


	19. Chapter 19

It is a bright sunny day and we are outside playing number catch. It was Friedrich's idea. This is how you play: Every person gets a number and when you throw a person the ball, you have to call out their number. The object of the game is to do it as fast as possible. Of course, the more people play, the better.

Inviting the baroness to play was_ Gretl's_ idea. The rest of us were sure she'd say no but before she could say anything, uncle Max said, "Of _course_, she'll play with you, Gretl."

Then Gretl smiled her sweetest, rosiest smile. "_Really_?" she asked. "You _will_?"

Naturally, the baroness _had_ to agree after _that_. Gretl has barely smiled at all in the past two days.

The baroness must be the worst player I've ever seen. She keeps throwing the ball to one person and calling out another person's number. Her throwing is awful. Her catching is worse. Uncle Max watches her, his eyes laughing.

"Isn't this fun?" the baroness says to us with a forced smile. We smile and nod. She looks like she's looking for an excuse to run away.

The next time the ball is thrown in her direction, she isn't prepared and it hits her right in the stomach.

"Oh!" She doubles over.

"Baroness Schraeder, do you mind if we stop now? We're tired," Kurt says. He is feeling sorry for her and is giving her a way out.

The baroness gives Kurt such a relieved and grateful look, that he blushes. "Whatever you want, dear," she says quickly, then hurries to take a seat beside uncle Max.

"The country's_ so_ restful, isn't it?" uncle Max says with a wicked grin.

The baroness looks at him with accusation, still breathing hard from our game.

We go back to our game for awhile but none of us feel like trying very hard. Fraulein Maria used to make the game fun. Uncle Max stares at us, then comes over and asks, "What's the matter with all of you?"

"Nothing," Louisa says.

"I know. Let's have a rehearsal."

"What for?" Kurt asks.

"Let's make believe we're on-stage at the festival."

"I don't feel like singing," says Marta. "Not without Fraulein Maria."

"Come on, dear. Everybody get in your places. I insist."

The baroness says, "Max, it isn't like you to force people."

"_Force_?" uncle Max looks at her, wide-eyed. "Am I forcing anyone? No, I said_, 'I insist._'"

"I don't see the difference."

"Well, not everyone sees the things I see. My eyesight has always been exceptionally good. " He turns to us. "Now, impress me."

We begin to sing halfheartedly. Gretl is silent.

"Gretl, why don't you sing?"

Gretl shakes her head. "I can't sing. I have a sore finger." She holds up her bandaged finger.

"But you sang so beautifully the night of the party. Come on all of you, try something you know."

We begin "The Sound of Music."

Today, the song sounds inexplicably sad. All the thoughts of last night rush into my head and the tears into my eyes. Not _now_. Not in front of everyone. The last thing I want is for everyone to come running to me to try to make me _feel_ better. I walk away from our group and turn my back to everyone, trying to control myself enough to not cry.

The singing fades away.

"That's lovely, lovely, don't stop!" father says behind me.

I feel pleased in spite of my unhappiness. He has never called our singing _lovely_ before. Or is it that we sing _better _when we are sad?

At any rate, something about father's words strengthens me, fortifies me. I can speak without crying now. I turn around. "I don't believe it, father," I say, vehemently.

"Don't believe what?"

"That Fraulein Maria isn't coming back."

Father sits down and faces me. "She _isn't _coming back, Brigitta. She said she missed her life at the abbey. And that's all there is to it." He turns to uncle Max and points to the pink lemonade. "I think I'm brave enough to try some of that."

"Not too sweet, not too sour," says the baroness.

Uncle max puckers his lips. "Just too…_pink_."

They all sound so _cheerful_. I don't understand how they manage it.

"Father, who is our new governess going to be?" Liesl asks.

Marta and I gasp. I understand that we need a new governess but…must the question come up so _soon_?

"Well. . ." Father takes a deep breath. "You're not going to have a governess anymore. "

Well, that's a relief. I don't see why he seemed almost _nervous _before announcing this bit of news. Surely he didn't think it would _upset _us not to have any more governesses?

Liesl, though, frowns. She looks suspicious, as if there's something else behind his words that he hasn't said. "We're _not_?" she asks. "Why?"

Father glances at the baroness for a moment and she gives a little nod. He turns to face us. "You're not going to have a new governess…because you're going to have a new mother."

_A new mother?_

For a moment, I actually wonder_ who_ this new mother will be. Yes, I can be awfully stupid sometimes. Then father walks over to the baroness and puts his hands on her shoulders.

_Oh. _Well, of course.

I don't want this to be true.

"A new mother?" Liesl whispers. Something flashes in her expression, something hurt and angry, but before I can study it, it curls up and hides and her face is impassive again. Just like father's when he hides how he feels.

"We talked about it last night. It's all settled. And we're all going to be very happy," father says, with a smile that seems to say that he actually _believes_ it. The baroness smiles too but she looks nervous.

_Why_ didn't he tell it us these news in private when the baroness wasn't there? Then I would say to him that if he must marry, can't it be to somebody else? Because I don't _want_ the baroness to become my new mother, I know that for certain. The biggest problem with the baroness isn't even that she doesn't _know_ us at all. It's that she doesn't _want _to.

But he _didn't_ tell us in private, so we _can't _protest, at least not now. Not in front of the baroness herself.

So what are we supposed to do? Cheer and clap? None of us seem to know. We look at each other with uncertain faces. Then Liesl stands and walks to the baroness. With the same impassive, frozen face, she leans over and kisses her on the cheek. Friedrich kisses her too.

They're welcoming her into the family. And I have to do the same.

I almost refuse. When it comes to important things,I always tell the truth. And this kiss would be a silent lie, the biggest lie I ever had to tell.  
But the others are doing it and I see that it pleases father. Louisa kisses the baroness too, then, as she turns away, she gives a little silent sob. She hates the baroness more than any of us do.

So I kiss the baroness as well. To my surprise, she looks grateful. Does she, perhaps, understand how much we dislike her? Then she understands us a little bit better than I thought she did.

* * *

"Surely now, it's safe," I say, when the five of us (the older five) are gathered in Liesl's room before bed.

Liesl looks puzzled. "_Safe?" _

"Now that father and the baroness are engaged, isn't it safe for Fraulein Maria to come back?"

Liesl begins to laugh. "Oh, Brigitta. You're hopeless!"

"Well, isn't it?" I say.

"Liesl shakes her head. "On the contrary, now that the baroness is here to _stay_, it's guaranteed that Fraulein Maria will _never_ come back."

_Never. _I turn my face to the wall.

"Listen, everyone," Friedrich says. "Brigitta?"

"I'm listening," I say, still facing the wall.

I've been thinking."

"Really? Well, _that's_ a new development," Louisa says.

"You being _quiet_ would be an even better development," Friedrich says. "Now, I've been thinking about Fraulein Maria. If she won't come back to us…maybe we can come to her. Just for a visit."

I turn back around to face him. "To the _abbey_?"

Friedrich nods. "I've studied my maps. We can leave early in the morning, take a bus and be back in time for dinner. Father won't even know."

Liesl shakes her head. "It would only make it worse. To see her and talk to her and then have to go back home…it will make things so much harder. "

Friedrich shakes his head. "I don't think so. And_ I'm_ going, no matter what you say."

Liesl glances at all of us and can tell exactly what we are all thinking. If Friedrich is going, there is _no_ way any of us are staying behind.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning, Friedrich knocks on my bedroom door. He is holding Mary Poppins . The book is dusty and grass-stained. "I found this in the garden. Did you leave it there?"

I feel my face warming. "No. I…I threw it out the window. Yesterday."

"What?" Friedrich stares. "Why?"

The words burst from me. "Oh, Friedrich! It's about a nanny that comes to stay with two children and they learn to love her and then, she _leaves _them! She doesn't even say good-bye!"

Friedrich wrinkles his forehead. "So you threw a perfectly good book out the window because you didn't _like_ it?"

Tears fill my eyes. Doesn't he understand?

Friedrich's look becomes sympathetic. "I agree. It's an awful book. But don't throw it out. Fraulein Maria wouldn't want you to."

"How do you know what she would want?"

"All right, I don't know." Friedrich smiles. "Today, I'll ask her."

First, I stare at him. Today… That's right, I forgot. Today, we are going to see Fraulein Maria at the abbey! I take the book and place it on my table. Later, I'll have to find a moment to make it presentable. Then I'll give it away to someone so that I _never_ have to see it again.

* * *

The abbey is so big and _serious_-looking. It's hard to believe that Fraulein Maria would fit in a place like this. We crowd around the iron gate. A nun drifts towards us as slowly as a cloud in a calm sky. "Yes, my children?"

Liesl takes a breath. "My name is Liesl. We, my brothers and sisters, wish to see Fraulein Maria."

The nun looks puzzled for a moment. "Fraulein Maria?" Then, her eyes understand. "Oh! _Maria_!"

She lets us in with that same quiet slowness and a gentle smile. She seems to be the kind of person who never hurries anywhere, who never gets excited or worried about _anything_. I wonder whether it's pleasant to be that way.

Another nun drifts over to us. "I understand you inquired about Maria."

"We have to see her. Will you tell her we're here?"

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

What does she mean, she _can't_?

"But you've got to!" gasps Friedrich.

"She's our governess!" Marta clarifies.

"We want her back!"

"She didn't even say goodbye!"

"All we want to do is talk to her," Liesl adds quietly.

"Maria is in seclusion. She will see no one."

What is _seclusion_? Why is it that I know so many big useless words but now that I _need _to know a word, I haven't the slightest idea what it means?

"Oh, she'll see us!" Friedrich says confidently.

"I want to show her my finger," pleads Gretl.

Beneath the calm, something in the nun's eyes flickers. Perhaps this last argument touched her. I don't see how it could have failed to. Perhaps, for Gretl, she will make an exception…

"Some other time, dear."

Now _that _must be the _stupidest_ thing I've ever heard an adult say. _What _other time? It's not as if we visit her every afternoon!

The nun must realize her comment isn't exactly reassuring because she adds, "I'll tell her you were here."

We still cannot believe it. We plead, we argue, we insist.

"Run along, children. Run along home."

And with quiet authority, she somehow guides us outside and locks the gate before our faces.

"Goodbye, children."

We stand there, stunned.

Fraulein Maria is in that large building somewhere. She's _so_ close to us, just a few doors and steps away, so _wonderfully, terribly_ close…and the nun wouldn't let us see her.

What if we simply ignored the nuns and forced our way through? There _are_ seven of us. Once we found Fraulein Maria, it wouldn't matter how much trouble we would be in. She'd make things all right somehow.

But we could never force our way into a beautiful, spiritual place like this. It would be like drawing ugly pictures in a Bible.

So we just stand there.

Friedrich begins to rapidly walk down the path, away from us.

"Friedrich! Where are you going?"

Friedrich doesn't answer. He stops at the end of the path and stands there, glaring at an oak tree. He clenches his fists. He kicks the tree. I don't think he's crying but he looks awfully close to it.

Louisa takes a step towards him.

"Wait!" Liesl takes Louisa's hand. "Don't pester him _now_!"

"I won't!" Louisa pulls her hand out of Liesl's grasp and walks towards Friedrich.

For a moment, she stands next to him. Then she puts her hand on his shoulder in a gentle, un-Louisa-like way and says something. I can't hear what because she is speaking quietly. But I see Friedrich take deep breath and turns to look at her. Louisa withdraws her hand. They walk back toward us together.

Friedrich doesn't say a single word all the way back to the bus station.

I find a moment to whisper to Louisa, "What did you say to him?"

"I told him that although it didn't work out, it was still a splendid idea."

I stare at her in wonder. I am supposed to know my brothers and sisters by now...but they keep on surprising me.

There is an elderly lady waiting at the bus station. Since there are only two seats next to her on the bench, we let Gretl and Marta have them. For about half an hour we wait in silence. The elderly lady studies us with interest. She must have never seen such a quiet group of children before.

"Liesl," Marta says. "I have to use the bathroom."

Liesl smoothes Marta's hair. "If we go searching for one now, we'll miss the bus."

"I'll help you go in the bushes," Louisa whispers.

"No!" Marta pulls away, horrified.

"Well, then, you'll have to wait."

Ten minutes later, Marta begins to hop on one foot.

"Liesl," says Gretl. "I have to go too."

Liesl sighs heavily.

"There's a sweets shop a few streets down," the elderly lady says. "I'm sure they'd let the young ladies use their facilities."

Liesl thanks her and takes the little girls' hands. "We'll try to be quick," she tells the rest of us.

"Shouldn't we all come?" Friedrich says. "It's not as if we could leave without you."

In the end, we decide to stay together. We come back to the bus station, just as the bus disappears around the corner.

"We're going to be late for dinner," moans Louisa. "And father will be angry."

"At least father won't make us write letters of apology and then read them out loud like Fraulein Hilda used to…" Kurt begins to say but trails off when I turn to glare at him.

* * *

"Now," says father. "It's not like my children to be secretive."

"We're _not_ being secretive, Father," says Louisa.

"And it's not like my children to be late for dinner."

"We lost track of the time," Friedrich says.

"Who's going to be the first one to tell me the truth? Friedrich? Brigitta? Liesl?"

"Where do you_ think_ we were, father?" Liesl asks.

Father directs his piercing gaze at her. "What was that?"

Liesl smiles. "Well, if you don't believe us, you must have some idea of where you _think _we were."

Father slowly, casually, takes turns looking into each person's eyes. His look isn't angry but there is so much _pressure_ in it that I barely manage to keep from looking away. I _do_ manage it, however. It reminds me of the days when we played tricks on the governesses and later pretended that we didn't know anything about it. I do have some practice in this sort of thing. But Marta doesn't. When father turns his penetrating eyes on her, she lets out a nervous giggle.

"Aha! Marta?"

Marta instantly sobers. "It's just like Friedrich said, father. We were berry-picking."

"I forgot, you were berry picking!" Father's delight in this explanation is too great to be sincere. I don't think he believes us. Or does he?

"What kind of berries?"

What _kind_? We stare at each other.

"They were blueberries," Friedrich says.

"Blueberries, mmm," father says. He waits a few seconds, then, adds "It's too early for blueberries."

Well, it's over. Now that he caught us in a lie, we are going to have to tell him everything. _Really,_ Friedrich should have known better, especially since he is supposed to be good at natural sciences. But I'm more relieved than anything. I'd like to tell father where we were.

"They were strawberries," Friedrich amends.

"Strawberries?" Father looks puzzled.

"Yes, but it's been so cold lately that they turned blue," Friedrich says.

He blushes tomato red as we all turn to look at him. Liesl makes a little sound that is something between a laugh and a groan. Fraulein Maria once said that everyone has days when they_ act_ sillier than they _are_. This must be one of those days for him.

Poor Friedrich. Louisa will be merciless to him. Absolutely merciless. She will probably call him 'strawberry' for the rest of the month.

Astonishingly, father pretends to believe this. "I see. Well, show me the berries."

I realize that father isn't going to accuse us of lying. No, instead, he's going to trap us with his questions until we have no more answers and admit it the truth. Except none of us_ will _admit it because we all promised Friedrich we wouldn't. This may go on for a very long time.

"We don't have them anymore," Kurt says.

"You don't have them anymore? What happened to them?" Father's tone is too sympathetic. I don't trust it. And sympathetic or not, he is still waiting for an answer. Kurt looks at all of us, silently pleading for help.

An answer comes to me. It's a good answer. It makes sense. But I'm afraid father will find a problem in it, just like he did in all of our answers. And so what if he does? We'll just keep on making things up. If we stick to our story, blue strawberries and all, eventually, he will have to leave us be.

"We ate them," I say.

"You ate them?" Father smiles.

Everyone enthusiastically agrees. Marta and Gretl especially grin and rub their bellies and talk about how _sweet _and _juicy_ the berries were.

"Splendid," father says. "Splendid. Now, since you've stuffed yourself chock-full of delicious berries, you can't be hungry anymore, so I'll just go tell Frau Schmidt to, uh, skip your dinner."

_What? _Wait,_ no, _that's_ not_ what I…

Father takes a few steps towards then house, then turns back to look at us. We look miserable but nobody says anything. Father laughs quietly and continues walking.

Why didn't I keep my mouth shut?

"Liesl, he didn't really mean that, did he?" Gretl asks in a small voice.

Liesl sighs and starts on the disagreeable task of explaining to Gretl that, yes, he did, and that maybe, later tonight, we can sneak down to the kitchen for some bread and butter.

"It's all _your_ fault," Kurt says to Friedrich. "We should have just told him the truth!"

"And made him boiling mad at us?" Louisa responds before Friedrich can say anything.

"We didn't do anything wrong. We just wanted to see her," I say.

"The least they could have done was to let us say hello," Marta says.

"I wonder what grass tastes like."

I wish Kurt wouldn't complain. We feel bad enough as it is. Gretl's and Marta's eyes are brimming over. "Let's sing that song," I say. "The one that's supposed to make you happier." We begin to sing. "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens…"

"Why don't I feel better?" Gretl asks.

I want to put my arm around her but Liesl does so first.

We sing. Looking at my brothers and sisters, thinking about the journey we took today, I am filled with a sense of belonging_, of togetherness_. We are all unhappy, yes, and we are all tired and hungry. But we are together. We are _we_ and I am a part of that _we_. There is a kind of peace in knowing that.

And then a glowing golden voice reaches my ears and my heart gives a quick, hard thud.

"Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings!"

I must be imagining it. I must be.

Then Kurt and Marta shriek, "Fraulein Maria!"

And that familiar figure, hat on sideways, guitar in one hand and suitcase in the other, sun lighting up her face, appears over the hill.


End file.
